God Save Baseball from Professional Baseball "Fans"

 

Way back in 2002, the Major League Baseball All-Star Game ended in a tie, and you'd think that the Munich Agreement and Non-Aggression Pact had been announced at the same time.  The sky fell, the Professional Outrage Merchants did their thing, and for reasons that apparently didn't need to explain SOMETHING had to be done to prevent this ATROCITY from ever happening again.  

At no point was it suggested by anyone in the media that the All Star Game was just an annual fun ritual that traditionally meant absolutely nothing and should not be taken as anything except a celebration of the most popular players in the game (not necessarily the best, because fans vote and fans are stupid.)  No, this was SERIOUS and a CRISIS was at hand and baseball itself had been BETRAYED because a game that did not appear in the standings, featuring plays that did not appear in any official stats, ended in a tie. 

The response was to ruin the All Star Game for more than a decade by giving it stakes:  The winning league would have home-field advantage in the World Series.  Never mind that for 90 percent of the players this meant that they were supposed to play hard for a natural rival (listen up, Pirates fans!  The Dodgers and Braves need you to win this one!  Hey Oakland player in the outfield- you'd better hustle! The Yankees and Red Sox are counting on you!

Well, that was a crap idea that (thankfully) ended up in the dustbin.  This new one, introduced in 2022 but not noticed until a few days ago, is almost as bad; deciding a winner based on a mini home-run derby.  Whatever, you might say.  The game has gone back to having no meaning (as G-d intended) so who cares?

Here's the big problem:  The ranting morons who comment on baseball for a living love the concept of ties being decided with Home Run Contests.  I heard one yesterday say that he's "all for" adding this idea to the REGULAR SEASON, apparently because the disgustingly stupid automatic runner on second in extras isn't quite awful and insulting to the game already.  We are literally one Commissioner Decision away from eliminating extra innings - with all of their drama- altogether in exchange for glorified batting practice.  

I will give full disclosure here:  I actually like the pitch clock and restrictions on batters leaving the box; it's sped up the game, made it more watchable and enjoyable, and opened it up to a larger audience of casual viewers who don't want to invest 4 hours.  I get it and I approve.  The automatic runner on second is an abomination which allows a team to win with two sacrifice flies and I'm sorry, that's stupid.  But if baseball is so determined to shorten games that it's going to end ties with home run derbies maybe it's time to just close up shop now.  And please, MLB yakkers, stop promoting this idea like it's the greatest ever; when you do that, you're just admitting that you were never actual fans of the game you are paid to talk about, just witless gushers love home runs and nothing else about the greatest sport ever.   You disgust me, but you are welcome to be bored when the ball is not leaving the park.  Let's preserve what is left of the game's integrity before it turns into hockey.  PLEASE.