Monday, August 8, 2022

Becca Balint for Congress, for the weirdest reason imaginable.


I don't vote in Vermont anymore (I actually haven't voted in Vermont since 1988) but if I did, I think I'd vote for Becca Balint in the Democratic Primary tomorrow.  Not because I prefer her stand on the issues over that of her main opponent, Molly Gray- I would actually prefer a home-grown Vermonter to represent my state, seeing as we've had a bit of a tradition lately of electing people from New York City to represent us.  But I'd vote for Becca because I can't resist supporting someone whose yard signs look like they are selling some old-timey pre-Great Depression root beer. 

I mean, come on.  That's just awesome.  

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Shopify's ads continue to break my brain and bleed my ears


Sure, we might not make cars or electronics or much of anything else of value anymore, but gosh-darn it, America will ALWAYS be Number One when it comes to Multi-Level Marketing and people selling coffee and t-shirts with pictures of dogs on them out of their garage and Keto Shakes out of their kitchens.  Because there's nothing more American than the idea of selling nonsense garbage to stupid people with not enough money to pay the bills but more than enough money to throw away on Said Garbage.  Is getting an actual job in which actual services are performed which add actual value to society just not a thing anymore?  I mean, seriously.  This is getting depressing.   But hey, Number One is Number One.

U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Friday, July 29, 2022

One of the Kardashians for Pretend Meat. I'll Pass.


Well, if America's favorite walking, talking mannequin thinks it's good, who are we to argue?

Seriously, though, this is the same vapid 3-dimensional magazine cover that was selling us "skinny teas" and "cleanses" roughly thirty seconds ago.  The same person who has pretty much come out and told us that she'll sell anything, to anyone, at any time, for the right price.  Why would I care what she thinks about chemicals pretending to be meat?

Is this the way people are supposed to watch their weight in 2022?  I just listened to an episode of Young Dr. Kildare on XM Radio Classics in which a woman wanted to lose 20 lbs. through SURGERY, but was instead put on a diet of - dry toast, grapefruit, lettuce and black coffee (you know, the standard Joke Diet that dominated most of the 20th century before someone noticed that eating more protein and fewer carbs allowed one to actually feel FULL while losing weight.)  Of course the diet worked- once Lionel Barrymore's character figured out that it "wasn't working" because the woman kept cheating with chocolate malteds- and we had our happy ending without surgery- but not before we got the ridiculous conversation between Dr. Kildare and the woman's husband, who resented being "forced" to exercise despite not needing to lose weight to be an ally to his wife, because seriously why would anyone exercise if they weren't trying to lose weight?  Ah, America in the 1940s....

That being said...I'll be off on my annual beach vacation starting tomorrow, so sadly this is the last blog post until the second week of August....based on the view counter, nobody will notice anyway, but I thought I'd just throw that out there.  Enjoy the archives till I get back!

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

GOLO is yet another example of Expensive Nothing for Sale


"I've tried detox, I've tried teas, I've tried pills..." have you tried Calories In, Calories Out, Denise?  I mean, now that you've tried all the stupid get-slim-quick gimmicks, have you considered using basic thermodynamics?

That's a pretty damned substantial-looking living room you've got there, Denise.  Did you ever consider a gym membership or a personal trainer?  Don't tell me you can't afford that, Denise.  

I'm told you lost 22 pounds in six months using GOLO.  Well, isn't that something.  That's what you could have done with a modest, 500-calorie-per-day deficit.  I'm glad you've taken the weight off and kept it off, but why did you need another gimmicky program to do it?  You achieved rather slow, sensible weight loss- which is remarkably simple if you just cut out processed carbs and sugar and consume more protein and healthy fats.  And move more.  There, I just gave you an absolutely trustworthy and safe way to lose a modest amount of weight in a medically safe way, and I didn't charge you a dime.  And if you had asked, I would have told you to skip the stupid "detoxes" (they are not a thing, you have organs that came with your body that detox for you, for FREE) and teas and pills, all of which almost certainly did you more harm than good and don't come close to addressing the real issue, which is the amount and type of food you eat and the amount of work you make your body do on a daily basis. 

Don't know much about GOLO, but if it involves healthy eating habits, then go for it.  But if it does, it seems to me that this is another case of Stone Soup Syndrome- putting a fancy label on common sense behavior and then giving the label rather than the behavior all the credit for positive results.  I guess you've got the money so it doesn't matter, but I wonder about people who are influenced to put this "system" on a credit card when eating less and better, and moving more, is really all they need. 

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Skyrizi is a lot of expensive, dangerous nothing

Most Americans are overweight, and a third are obese.  The favorite past time of the great majority of Americans is watching television or surfing the internet or (if they are really "ambitious," doing both at the same time. But not a single user of Skyrizi is anything short of a young, svelte athletic type* who is constantly on the goal with their mountain biking, swimming and overall just being outdoors with friends.  Is there a correlation between being healthy and active and having bad skin, or what?

Anyway, in the pursuit of ridding yourself of unslightly rashes more and more Americans with solid gold insurance plans are partaking in this extremely expensive ($30 k per year) series of injections which "may increase risk of infections and Tuberculosis" and maybe you shouldn't take if you "plan to or have recently received a vaccine" (any vaccine?  Even for the Illness that Shall Not Be Mentioned?  If you haven't received that vaccine and don't "plan to," what are you doing in the doctor's office in the first place?  Shouldn't you be ingesting horse de-wormers to rid yourself of that scaly red skin?  I bet you don't think the election of 2020 was stolen either!)

The real bottom line, though, is that I really hate this stupid song.  "Nothing is everything...I see nothing in a brand new way....I just got saved..." what the actual hell?  Get off my television already!

*ok, there is that one fat guy swinging his kid around.  He's still being very active.  Not one shot of people just enjoying clearer skin while waiting for their McDiabetes at the drive-thru or bingeing on Tiger King?

Saturday, July 23, 2022

Those Bamboo HR ads....


Especially the ones on the radio always feature clucking idiots who, before BambooHR came around, were still keeping receipts in shoe boxes and (presumably) using an abacus to calculate payroll taxes.  Because technology didn't exist until this particular program, apparently. 

Oddly enough, the industrial age managed to give way to the internet age without missing a beat despite the lack of BambooHR, regardless of what this company wants us to think.  We had these things like electronic calculators, computers, word processing and payroll software way before BambooHR came along to save us from the avalanche of paper they would like us to imagine existed before this Amazing Thing Called Paperless Accounting was invented by BambooHR.  Funny how we missed this Renaissance in office management that just happened a few years ago and not back in the 1980s like we thought.  Memory is a weird thing, isn't it?

And I'm not even going to get into the rather blatant anti-labor messaging imbedded in ads for companies like Bamboo HR, Bambi, Indeed....they all involve the Immense Sad of being an Executive who must deal with whiny, unappreciative minions---err--employees- who demand things like decent working conditions, living wages and time off, like they don't understand the glories of Capitalism or share in the dreams of their benevolent bosses who "gave" them their jobs in the first place (because remember kids, Jobs are gifts handed out like candy to people who are supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to continue to purchase food and shelter.)  I'll save that for next time.

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Those Shopify Ads....


I swear, every small business in the United States was started in someone's garage or a kitchen crockpot.  Either that, or the people in these Shopify commercials have zero interest in even ATTEMPTING to tell a unique, compelling story about why they started their business, let alone why I should give a flying damn. 

I mean, seriously.  You started your business in your garage, or in a kitchen crockpot.  That doesn't tell me why I should want to start a business, let alone why I should want to patronize yours.  Get over yourselves, people.  99 of the Small Businesses Built on your Dreams and supported by Spotify will not exist two years from now.  Don't care now, won't care then.