Monday, May 31, 2021
Apple redefines Chutzpah with it's "Mind Your Own Business" ad
Sunday, May 30, 2021
Miller Lite ignores the real "big mistake:" buying Light Beer in the first place
Saturday, May 29, 2021
What Nissan calls "Fiercely Imagined..."
Friday, May 28, 2021
I'm angry at Oura, and I know it
Thursday, May 27, 2021
Nissan Rogue Presents: the most Boomer commercial of all time
The dumbest line in the history of television commercials, clearly written by an overpaid assclown who didn't even attempt to come up with any ideas but just threw together some dialogue in his otherwise-empty head as he walked into the pitch meeting: "When I was your age, we didn't have the 2021 Nissan Rogue with Intelligent All-Wheel Drive...."* to which any self-respecting kid should reply "when you were my age, you didn't have a 2021 anything, you ridiculous moron" before throwing himself out of the car, consumed with mortification that he shares way too much genetic material with this disgustingly fruitful idiot.
Here is the actual description of this ad, courtesy of iSpot.tv. I would argue that there's no way that this guy has any youth to wax poetic about, because anyone who would utter that dumbest line in the history of television commercials was born middle-aged:
While the family's Nissan Rogue casually out-paces a fearsome dust storm in the middle of the desert, a dad reminisces about his bygone youth, when people had to make do driving average cars on normal roads. For a limited time, qualified customers can get special offers on the 2021 Rogue.
Yeah, whatever buddy. You are the reason why the phrase "Ok Boomer" was invented.
*know what else you didn't have when you were a kid? Legal marriages between blacks and whites. You know, like the one you clearly enjoy and produced a child through. There's an example of how the world is better now that might be a bit more worth celebrating instead of waxing poetic about your stupid-ass car.
Sunday, May 23, 2021
Nissan Rogue, a lot of noise, and Brie Larson: Watch out for flying trolls!
Saturday, May 22, 2021
Creditrepair.com just Happens. Credit Problems? Not so much.
Friday, May 21, 2021
Aunt Wanda knows who to call in times of stress....
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Samsung's Own the Floor campaign is a high-tech version of Stupid
Saturday, May 15, 2021
A Soon-to-be-very-dated Progressive Insurance Commercial....
Friday, May 14, 2021
Lowbrow humor from Toyota and Highlander
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Oh Seriously. It's an F---NG HYUNDAI!
Sunday, May 9, 2021
Samsung dangles another trinket and knows we'll fold
When you are judging yourself based on your smartphone's ability to fold compared to the phones of the people around you, you might as well just call it a day. Or at least rethink your priorities and try to figure out what went so very wrong in your life. But who am I kidding? You're far more likely to respond by dipping deeper into your credit card debt and getting yourself one of these Look At Me phones so you can "flex" with the best of them.
Because you are a very, very sad person who has no sense of value, and no sense of pride, and no sense that you've actually accomplished anything that makes you at all worthwhile or valuable or even notable in any way, shape or form. So if you want people to know you are alive, you'd better go out and spend a thousand dollars on a shiny piece of metal and plastic that can do something that might catch someone's eye and attract someone's interest- because there's nothing about you personally that is ever going to do that.
A sad person who will be mesmerized by this blur of images, and overwhelmed with lust at the thought of owning something that might make someone else momentarily envious of you. You've always wanted someone to me envious of you, and god knows there's nothing about who you are or what you do that is ever going to accomplish that. And after all, this phone- an overpriced bauble though it may be- is still significantly cheaper than an Audi or a Lexus or a BMW.
Saturday, May 8, 2021
Jake from State Farm is a Walking, Talking, Scene-chewing Curse
Friday, May 7, 2021
Bambee deals with those little annoyances that go with running a sweatshop (errr, business)
Sunday, May 2, 2021
Geico's well-deserved slap at suburban life
Saturday, May 1, 2021
Farxiga's Band-Aid for a much bigger problem