Domino's takes delivery so seriously that....they are going to retain their very best delivery drivers by paying them a living wage? They are going to stop encouraging customers to help them to eliminate delivery altogether by giving them incentives to pick up their own damn non-food?
Nah. Somehow, this "delivery is super important to us" message transforms into "so here's our latest invention- greasy fried potatoes doused with sugar and cheese." Because that makes sense. To somebody. But I guess I should be grateful- at least Domino's isn't offering ways to bet on the Purchasing Cheap Warm Sludge Experience yet. I've reached the point where pretty much any commercial that isn't encouraging people to gamble is automatically worth a extra half-star. I'm reminded of Chuck Norris in Code of Silence- "I'm gonna hit you so many times with a left, you're gonna beg for a right." Yeah, bring on the pizza and small business credit card commercials, all is forgiven.
*"At Domino's we are obsessed with delivery...in fact in breaks our heart to see delivery done wrong."
Seriously. I suggest a suicide pact. I mean, when you guys were young, did you ever imagine you'd be uttering those words unironically on television?