Friday, April 14, 2023

5 Reasons why Planet Fitness is (Evil?) Genius


1.  Advertises itself as a "Judgement Free Zone" while it's commercial are ALL ABOUT JUDGEMENT.  Like building muscles?  This place is not for you.  Are really hot and proud of it?  This place is not for you.  Oh, but we're a "judgement free zone."  Ok then...

2.  Features a "Lunk Alarm," which is an air horn that goes off if someone grunts too loudly while lifting weights, or drops weights, or does anything else to indicate that they might be pushing their limits or something horrible like that.  I've heard one YouTuber suggest that the "Lunk Alarm" goes off at the sound of muscles contracting.  Again, this is a "Judgement Free Zone" but if you dare exert yourself, you'll be made to feel like you've been spotted trying to escape a POW camp.

3.  Offers free pizza one day a month, and free bagels another day a month.  I just love this- a strategy which discourages gym members from improving their health and thereby losing the incentive to keep up their memberships.  Work out (modestly,) Get Fat,  Work out, Get Fat, lather, rinse, repeat.  And keep that monthly membership fee coming.  Speaking of which....

4.  Prices membership so low that people can't resist signing up and can't be bothered to cancel because "it's only $10 a month, if I cancel I've given up, I don't want to pay the initial sign-up fee again, I'll just keep it I'll use it someday."  Of course, it's not really "$10 a month."  It's ten dollars a month PLUS taxes PLUS an annual fee PLUS that initiation fee.  To make it worth while, you really have to keep it and use it for a year, after which you'll probably keep it because you can't cancel online but must instead visit the location you signed up at (you CAN buy a membership online but not cancel...hmm...) but you'll stop using the membership, which is all part of the strategy because...

5.  The average Planet Fitness location has 6,500 members.  No kidding.  But the average Planet Fitness location also has a capacity limit of 300.  So the whole business model is built on people signing up and not actually showing up- more than 90% of members aren't there at any given time.  This is like if America went back on the Gold Standard; yes, it works very well, as long as 90% of people never actually want to trade their paper dollars in for gold. 

1 comment:

  1. Judgment-free zone my ass. They had the mall move the bus stop to the far side of the parking lot so they could shove more SUVs next to it.