Saturday, May 22, 2021

Creditrepair.com just Happens. Credit Problems? Not so much.

 


It's occurred to me that each and every one of these Easy Credit Repair abortions has one thing in common:  they all portray people who have lousy credit as innocent victims of predatory credit card companies which at some point gang-tackled them, tied them down, shoved a pen into their hands and made them sign up to receive a credit card.  And then forced them to use it, over and over again, on crap they didn't need.  And then forced them to skip payments until their credit rating was in the toilet.

Seriously, listen to this whiny jackass.  He was "surrounded" by advertisements offering credit cards every time he entered the student union at college.  So of course he "had" to sign up to get the credit cards. And he "went crazy" and used the credit cards.  And he was so absolutely clueless that he had "no idea" his credit rating was in the single digits until he tried to buy a car.  All of this was, of course, the fault of the credit card companies for....offering him credit when they should have known that he wasn't mature enough to handle it, which they should have known because after all he was a college kid, never mind that the vast majority of college kids who get credit cards do NOT abuse them or fail to make payments or end up with crap credit ratings, whatever my fellow Boomers might think.

Anyway, getting slapped in the face by a great big dose of Reality convinced today's Creditrepair.com Spokeschoad to call Creditrepair.com and see what he could do to repair his credit, which remember was seriously crap through no fault of his own but because of the Big Bad Credit Providers.  Chuckling Jagoff tells us how powerful and amazing it is to finally get help for crap credit, a powerful and amazing experience I plan to continue missing out on by not establishing crap credit.  And what does this blame-shifting doofus love most about Creditrepair.com?  It's got this really cool App, you see, which allows him to see exactly what's happening with his credit report on a regular basis by using the Smartphone which he most certainly needs even though he probably never got around to actually paying for it because remember, this guy has never been big on actually paying his bills.  Spending money he doesn't have, sure.  Paying the bills? Not so much.

And in the end, Totally Deserving Credit Scofflaw got his credit fixed (for the moment) and now has his eye on a new house because Consequences are Just Not a Thing in these commercials.  Grinning Douchenozzle skated on his obligations and thanks to an artificially inflated credit score he's ready to line up a new set of victims and get that debt ramped up again.  In ten years, he'll be back on one of these commercials bitching that Rocket Mortgage offered him a really great rate and assured him that an adjustable rate mortgage with introductory $1200 monthly payments would be totally in sync with his $25,000 salary as some kind of salesman (I'm not watching this again, thank you very much.)  So it's not his fault he got in over his head- again.  He was just a typical American trying to follow his dreams....of buying stuff and not paying for it.  Like, ever. 

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