Friday, May 7, 2021

Bambee deals with those little annoyances that go with running a sweatshop (errr, business)


The radio commercials for this service are so very grating- "as a small business owner, you have so many headaches!"  And the "headaches" listed are "minimum wage requirements" (HORRORS! The EVIL GOVERNMENT requires you to pay what amounts to way, way below an actual living wage to your employees, and you need to hire a manager to deal with that!) and "wrongful termination lawsuits" (HORRORS!  You went an innocently broke a contract and fired an employee, and now you've got to deal with the law!  You need to hire a manager to deal with that!)  and "Union disputes" (don't even get me started.)  In short, these commercials make running a business sound like something a very, very charitable person With A Dream wants to do but is bound to be foiled by the aforementioned evil government and it's evil, business-owner-hating rules every time.

And hiring a compliance manager?  The radio ad tells us "they're expensive- they cost Seventy Thousand Dollars a year."  As if we are talking about a piece of equipment and not a human being.  I'm sure what the commercial MEANT to say is that compliance managers CHARGE $70,000 per year for their WORK, but even this doesn't make any sense, because how is that a universal salary for compliance managers?  Are you really telling me that a compliance manager in Mobile, Alabama makes the same salary as one in San Francisco?  And again, it's so dehumanizing to refer to qualified professionals as if they are just another piece of tech the modern business needs to purchase off the shelf in order to avoid production issues.

Finally, that guy at the beginning- "I need this for my small business.  But I can't afford it.  But I can't afford not to have it..." Hey, buddy, I'll tell you what I tell every jackass who whines that they "can't afford" to pay a certain wage, "can't afford" to follow all those other rules (cleanliness, safety, tax record maintenance, etc:)  If you can't pay for those things, you can't have a business.  Sorry.  Your desire to run a business doesn't require me or anyone else to reduce standards to make that business more profitable for you.  It's not 1880 anymore, and that's a good thing.  If you can't afford what it takes to keep your doors open, then just admit you aren't ready to run a business, close your doors, and go get a job, Mr. Small Business Owner.

(Oh and BTW, don't tell me that Bambee provides an HR manager who regularly "costs" $70,000 per year for $99 a month- like she's a rental- and that HR manager is going to be as devoted to YOUR business as one you personally hired- and paid a decent wage too- would be.  That Bambee HR manager is either doing this in her spare time or your business will be one of the two dozen she's juggling every single day.   I don't own a business, but I can do math.)

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