Saturday, May 8, 2021

Jake from State Farm is a Walking, Talking, Scene-chewing Curse


For some reason, this smirking little toad with the fake smile forever frozen on his stupid face can't convince Aaron Rodgers that he isn't getting some special "Rodgers Rate."  The result seems to be that Rodgers is forever kissing up to an otherwise anonymous State Farm Insurance Choad- playing golf with him, going on car rides with him, eating lunch with him- in order to keep what he thinks is some "special rate" which by the way he really needs because money is tight when you're a franchise quarterback in the NFL.

And now Pat Mahomes- ready and waiting in the wings for the not-too-distant day when Rodgers simply cannot perform on the field anymore (probably three games into his new contract with whatever team he insists on being traded to this summer) to be Jake's Best Friend and Toady, thanking this grinning smarmy jackass every few seconds for his Special Mahomes Rate as he goes about his everyday life, getting haircuts, doing laundry, or just Hanging Around with Jake for No Reason Whatsoever Are We Aware that Mahomes has Actual Friends and a Family in the Real World.  All so this terrible actor*/wannabee comedian can do everything possible to convince NFL millionaires that they are Nothing Special All State Farm Employees Hang Out With Their Customers 24/7. 

But it seems to me that after last February, Pat Mahomes might put two and two together and figure out that hanging around with Jake might not be the best thing for a guy whose primary goal is to collect Super Bowl Rings.  Aaron Rodgers has exactly one, while his list of playoff failures just keeps on growing.  Pat Mahomes also has one ring- which is half the number of playoff losses he can count.  I think the message is pretty damned clear:  doing State Farm commercials might be good for your wallet, but it doesn't bode very well when it comes to winning Championships.  

*the original Jake from State Farm was dumped because the company decided that more extensive use of the character required the hiring of an actual actor.  So they hired....this guy.  Uh huh.  WTF-ever, State Farm.

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