Saturday, June 27, 2009

More Idiocy from our friends at Smirnoff

Here's another chapter of what I guess is a series of commercials entitled "What Morons Will Do When They Drink Enough of Our Product." In the first installment, we saw a crowd of clueless knotheads fill buckets of ice and bottles of Smirnoff Vodka, carry them up a hill, throw sheets of plastic on the ground and, when the sprinklers come on, hurl their bodies down the wet plastic, risking severe neck and back injuries in the process. "Be There" is the tag line.

In this second installment, the survivors of Commercial # 1 gather at what looks to be an abandoned gas station with about a hundred buckets of purple paint. They proceed to throw the paint everywhere- on the walls, roof, and even windows of the abandoned building.

As the sun goes down on the county's newest toxic waste dump, the crowd gathers inside the building and dons headlamps. A disco ball is suspended from the ceiling. Music blares, and everyone starts jumping around, and it's oh-so-freaking-cool to see the bobbing lights, especially when you are consuming bottles of vodka.

Here's the punchline- you hear a girl's voice exclaim "I can't believe I was there!" Hey, me neither, lady. I can't believe your life is so pathetically empty and shallow that you consider it some kind of SuperAmazing experience to have spent a day dumping paint everywhere in order to create a pitch-black room, and then spent the night jumping around in said room. Yep, that's something you'll want to tell your kids about, I'll bet.

Quite a summer these people are having. First, they get drunk and slide down a hill all night. Then, they get drunk and trash an abandoned gas station. I just can't WAIT to see what this group of go-getters does the NEXT time they get bored. I think, however, we can eliminate a few possibilities right away:

1. Volunteering at a soup kitchen
2. Taking mom and dad out to dinner
3. Going to a museum or library
4. Attending an AA meeting

The good people at Smirnoff are sure providing a public service, aren't they? Please, keep providing us Great Ideas on How to Stave off Boredom While Getting Shitfaced on Smirnoffs this summer. And providing me with great material for my blog. Next to McDonalds, you guys are my greatest assets.


  1. Thank you for posting this

    Everytime I hear "I can't believe we are doing this" my soul dies a little.

  2. I'm glad someone hates these commercials as much as I do