Saturday, February 10, 2018
This World of Warships thing keeps happening on my Internet
"What? You haven't played World of Warships yet? Why the hell not?"
That's how it opens, seriously. I guess we're all done trying to sell games to kids. Everyone who plays games nowadays is a thirtysomething male desperately trying to delay adulthood for a few more years. Got it.
Check out the virtually infinite number of things you can do in this game. You can sink the Yomoto. You can "avenge the Titanic," which means blast an iceberg, which strikes me as really stupid but which I guess it's supposed to be funny but sure as hell doesn't make me want to play the game because once you've taken out the iceberg, what then?
Oh right. You can sink the Yomoto again. The fact that this option is mentioned twice in a thirty-second ad which is supposed to be about the almost infinite things you can do in this game makes me suspicious about how vast the World of Warships universe actually is. What makes me even more suspicious is the line "you can go to the beach...." Uh huh. That sounds fun. Take a warship to the beach. And then do what? Blow up the beach? Hey, is the Yomoto back yet?
Whatever, people. I'll never understand the attraction of any of this. I'm going to play round of Frogger before getting back to cleaning and recovering from my dentist appointment. Later.