Friday, April 13, 2018
Oh seriously bite me, Mazda
If the last frame of this noxious dumpster fire of an ad doesn't leave you wanting to punch someone, you are much more tolerant, calm person than I am. Because I didn't just want to punch the guy spreading his arms out in a "I own the universe 'cause check out my LookAtMeMobile" gesture- I wanted to punch him, knock him down, and roll him off the nearest cliff. And then send his car down after him.
You have the right to be proud of an accomplishment like climbing a mountain with a heavy bag on your back. You do not have the right to feel the same way for purchasing a trinket with four wheels and a sound system that makes people even more shallow than you turn and stare as you roar past, dicktard.
All of this "Feel Alive By Driving This Car" bilge is even worse if you watch it without sound, as I originally did. Because without sound you focus on the smug, cocky-for-no-reason jackanapes who populate the ad. These people are all doing things that really ought to make them "feel alive"- hiking, cardioboxing,etc- and yet they don't quite achieve actual "Alive-ness" until they blow 80 grand on an impractical automobile which says nothing to the world except "I've got money to burn, and charity begins at home, with me."