"At Dominos, you don't have to end your assault on your arteries with just pizza! You can get MORE bread in the shape of little cannonballs which is also empty calories! Plus there's pasta made of MORE empty carbs! And because there's not enough sugar in that sauce, here's a bag of sweet chemicals that taste kind of like chocolate to top it all off with!"
Well, the price is right, anyway. Amazing how much rat poison you can buy for $6.99. What a great country.