Sunday, February 12, 2023

The Superbowl Ads: Seriously, just shut up about them already.


"Millions of people will tune in to the Superbowl, and many of them will be watching just for the ads..."

Yes, I am aware.  There's a name for these people.  They are called Sad Losers.  

Seriously, though- if you are the kind of person who will sit in front of the television for more than three hours just waiting for the stupid sportsball stuff to take a break so you can get back to enjoying those awesome, awesome advertisements, well, I don't want to meet you and I don't want to know what went so terribly wrong with your life.  Commercials are an annoyance that we've largely moved beyond with streaming services- that is, we who have agreed to pay a set monthly price instead of being begged to buy stuff every few minutes and being told that our lives are not and will not be worth living until we can crash through the woods in this truck, download this app, text into this phone or ingest this drug.  I don't care which actor I thought had died years ago makes a "surprise" guest appearance in an ad for Doritos Obesity Chips during the first quarter, and I don't care how "cleverly" I'm being sold everything from Payday Loans But Now It's Through Your Phone So That's Different to Wendy's Cheese and Carb Sandwiches Prepared by Mental Midgets.  The commercials are the painful part of the Big Game- an excuse to take a quick walk outside to stretch, grab some more snacks, or - here's the most revolutionary idea- start up a conversation with someone you are sharing the experience with.  Most of the time, I watch this game by myself, with the mute button on.  On occasions like tonight- when I'm at a Superbowl Party- I'll be ignoring the ads, and trying extra hard to ignore the other people in the room who insist on commenting (or, worse, laughing) at them.  If everyone else insists on paying attention to the ads, I'll do the most 21st century thing I can do and just stare at my phone.  Gotta fit in somehow.

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