Friday, June 16, 2017

Oh just move in to the damn pharmacy already

1.  Why does every freaking disease now have a three-letter acronym?  I just barely learned that Opioid Induced Constipation is a thing, and I've already been told that I should refer to it as OIC because...well, because we're living in the fricking twitterverse where were are all too damned lazy to use complete words anymore.

2.  If my doctor referred to a complaint about constipation with "how long've you been holding this in?' my first response would not be to laugh, but to question that doctor's commitment to making me better.  Illness is not a freaking joke.  But the guy in this ad thinks it's downright charming that his doctor used his discomfort to drop a bad pun- so charming, in fact, that he REPEATS the lousy joke a few seconds later.

3.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the answer to this guy's constipation problem caused by an addiction to a prescription drug is....another prescription drug.  It's America and it's the year 2017- of COURSE the answer to a medical condition caused by drugs is more drugs.  What else would it be?  Maybe cutting down on the opiods?  Don't be silly- there's no money in that.  What am I, a freaking Commie?  Do I want the terrorists to win or something?

4.  If you are popping opioids to deal with back pain, is constipation really something you're going to be concerned with?  To repeat Point 3, wouldn't it be a little more in keeping with the Hippocratic Oath for a doctor to tell this guy "once we get you off these extremely powerful, organ-damaging pain killers, you'll have regular bowel movements, so let's focus on getting you there?"  But again- no money in that.


  1. Five bucks says that most of Mitch "I'm not even going to bother to disguise my contempt for the poor any longer" McConnell's kick-backs come from the Consume Massive Quantities Brigade.

  2. If I were this man's doctor, I wouldn't have quipped "How long have you been holding this in?" I would've cut right to the chase with "How long have you been full of shit?"

    Ah, but no matter. In a year this guy's gonna be dead from the fentanyl overdose that happens after his opioid prescription turns him into a heroin addict. And one thing dead people don't have to worry about is constipation.