Sunday, December 17, 2017
Yoplait Moms have massive chips on their shoulders*
"Look at me? That means you dissaprove."
"Glance at me? That means you are trying to pretend I don't exist. You're hateful."
"Don't look at me at all? You can't ignore me. I'm here anyway, and you WILL acknowledge my existance. I am woman, hear me roar, etc."
Oh, and I am going to drink wine whether you like it or not- and don't tell me you don't give a flying damn either way, because no way that's an option. You notice everything about me- what I drink, what I wear (don't criticize my dress- it's how I got that guy to nail me so I could become TrophyWife No. 2) and everything else about me that I just KNOW you and everyone else are totally obsessed with because I'm Really That Important In Your Universe."
And finally- I'm raising my little girl to eat this yogurt, and I don't give a damn if you dissaprove which of course you do because Reasons. I told you to stop pretending you don't care! Stop acting as if this means nothing to you! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND I CAN TELL AND YOU CAN'T PRETEND YOU DON'T DAMMIT! MY LIFE HAS MEANING TO TOTAL STRANGERS!"
If this is what it means to be a Mom in America these days, well....wow. That's really sad.
*And now someone is going to find this blog and use it as proof that women are being "judged" everywhere, all the time, by everyone. Sigh.