Sunday, December 17, 2017

Yoplait Moms have massive chips on their shoulders*

"Look at me?  That means you dissaprove."

"Glance at me?  That means you are trying to pretend I don't exist.  You're hateful."

"Don't look at me at all?  You can't ignore me.  I'm here anyway, and you WILL acknowledge my existance.  I am woman, hear me roar, etc."

Oh, and I am going to drink wine whether you like it or not- and don't tell me you don't give a flying damn either way, because no way that's an option.  You notice everything about me- what I drink, what I wear (don't criticize my dress- it's how I got that guy to nail me so I could become TrophyWife No. 2) and everything else about me that I just KNOW you and everyone else are totally obsessed with because I'm Really That Important In Your Universe."

And finally- I'm raising my little girl to eat this yogurt, and I don't give a damn if you dissaprove which of course you do because Reasons.  I told you to stop pretending you don't care!  Stop acting as if this means nothing to you!  YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND I CAN TELL AND YOU CAN'T PRETEND YOU DON'T DAMMIT!  MY LIFE HAS MEANING TO TOTAL STRANGERS!"

If this is what it means to be a Mom in America these days,  That's really sad.

*And now someone is going to find this blog and use it as proof that women are being "judged" everywhere, all the time, by everyone.  Sigh.


  1. Yoplait: the official yogurt of whack-jobs who think that if people aren't condemning everything they do, they're either lying or crazy. I wonder if Elly Patterson eats the stuff.

    1. If she does, she does it while holding her nose very high in the air, convinced that she's showing Rosa Parks and Joan of Arc a thing or two about how to stand up for oneself.