Sunday, March 12, 2023

Tonya, Mom of 9, is a selfish moron.


"Hey kids?  I have an important announcement to make.  As the 42-year old mother of 9, responsible for your care, I have decided to make a major decision concerning my health."

"Yay mom!  We know you can do it!  We are behind you one hundred percent!"

"That's so sweet, and I haven't even told you what I am going to do yet."

"Well, it's no mystery!  We want you to know that we'll pick up the slack no matter how many nights you want to go to the gym, and we are totally on board with tossing out all of the junk snacks we've had in the cupboards and want to eat balanced, healthy meals right along with you!  We're all in this together!"

", I'm not talking about weight loss.  I'm talking about getting Botox injections."

"What?  Those really expensive injections that have all kinds of dangerous complications?  You're going to do that to...get rid of a few wrinkles?  But what about all that excess adipose tissue that's pressing up against your heart, is hormonally active, and is opening you up to all kinds of serious health issues that might leave us without a mom?"

"Yes, those injections!  Isn't that exciting?  I'm going to look exactly the same, except younger!  And I'm even going to do an ad for them when I'm done!"

"You know, Weight Watchers hires people to do ads does Planet Fitness..."

"Yep, I'm going to look at least ten years younger!  So exciting!  Finally, I'm doing something for ME!"

1 comment:

  1. No wonder whoever's running Foob had Elly look at a Botox video: the illusion of health is all a dim and lazy person like that wants.