Jeep, Patriotism and Emergency Room Visits just go together

 

Jeep is "America's most patriotic automobile brand" despite being owned by an Italian car company better known for producing buggy, unreliable junk since the 1990s.  

But I can see how Jeep and Patriotism still go together.  Being Patriotic has always been about sacrifice.  During World Wars I and II, Americans were asked to limit their consumption of meat, grow their own food in Victory Gardens, recycle grease, tin cans and paper, and take that vacation fund and use it to buy War Bonds instead.

During World War II sugar was highly rationed and good luck trying to buy a new set of tires for the family car (which you were NOT going to be taking for Sunday drives until the Nazis were put down once and for all.)  You were supposed to carpool and even the ladies were expected to Do Their Part in the munitions factories.  Again- it was all about Sacrifice.

Well, buying a Jeep certainly allows the modern generation to share that sense of sacrifice.  When you buy a Jeep, you'll be sacrificing a large chunk of your paycheck to the local mechanic.  You'll be sacrificing hours of your life to sitting in that mechanic's waiting room, hoping this time the drain on your wallet is only MILDLY Patriotic (you need a new battery) rather than Uber, Huge Flag-Waving Patriotic (you need a new transmission on your Stellantis Crapbox despite the fact that it's still under 50,000 on the odometer.)  

If you're really lucky, the Jeep won't force you to experience some of that Patriotism when you're trying to get your child, who has just lost three fingers having fun with the Almost As Patriotic Firework Pack included, to the emergency room.  Maybe this time it WON'T Patriotically conk out on the highway while she's keeping pressure on the stump to keep from bleeding to death.  If it doesn't, well, you'll have plenty of time to demonstrate your sense of Patriotism later- maybe by flying a huge American flag from the truck bed as you drive through a shallow creek, or something.  You can pretend you're hitting the beach at Normandy to ramp up the Patriotism Factor as your child provides the blood to bring the experience to life.