This history-making Jeep Commercial

 

In my experience, only local dealerships make ads promoting used cars.  But this ad isn't created by a local dealership; it was actually produced and paid for by Stellantis (a name you will not hear mentioned in any Jeep ad because car owners in the know associate Stellantis with quality as nutrition experts associate Taco Bell with healthy.)

This ad features several Jeep products that have been discontinued by the manufacturer, before the company became a billion-dollar hot potato.  Jeep was originally an AMC product but was then purchased by Chrysler, which eventually dumped it on Stellantis.  Today only one model is produced at the old plant in Toledo, Ohio.  The others are made in- you guessed it- China.

The current Jeep Stellantis product allegedly being pitched in this ad in between cuts of older automobiles of much higher quality is not a Jeep at all, but an SUV.  Which begs the question- if you are in the market for an SUV, why on Earth would you buy one from THIS company?  On the other hand, actual Jeeps produced earlier in this century are available from used car lots for a fraction of the cost of this hideous, unreliable monstrosity trying to catch a free ride on the back of its predecessors. 

Here are my two favorite comments concerning this ad, courtesy of YouTube:

"Comes with a Check Engine Light and a Backorder on Parts."

"Conclusions: 1) the Jeep became and SUV, and 2) hold on to your old models, as they will rise in value." 

Bottom Line:  The "Jeep" name may still Influence people to buy a pile of Chinese Crap that will be in the shop more often than their driveways, but that's nothing to be proud of because the current crop of vehicles being vomited out of Asia are buggy, badly-built money pits being pitched using nostalgia bait and nothing more.  And don't forget- they are made by Stellantis and nobody thinks Stellantis is a reliable car maker. 

Wednesday Adams is the latest shameless sellout

 

"Normally I'd be against this type of Capitalistic Corporate Synergy..."

But then Wendy's threw a lot of money at me and I turned on a dime and became Krusty the Klown suddenly doing ads for the Canyonero.  I get it. 

While being depressingly predictable, this is still almost as sad as the Lorax pimping for IHOP back in the day.  Everything is for sale.  Everything.  

A few quick thoughts concerning that Credit Wreckers Commercial

 

1.  It's pretty juvenile.  I mean, do adults really need to be told that if they max out their credit cards, they make themselves poor credit risks and therefore lower their credit scores?  Maybe the damage done by getting rid of their longest credit line is less mainstream knowledge, but come on.  

2.  While providing good (albeit very basic, No Duh) advice, it also feeds the audience a poisoned pill mixed in with the nutritious stuff- No, it is NOT a good idea to sign up for and use several credit cards instead of just one.  That's actually really stupid, because it can lead to people masking their debt by spreading it over several different sources.  It's also hypocritical, because this company- like every other credit-issuing company- will be quick to offer opportunities to consolidate debt into one card, as long as it's theirs.  

3.  In the end, there's only one reason to use credit cards beyond emergency situations, and that's to earn rewards points.  I understand that rewards points are actually bad for people who don't hold credit cards because they raise prices for everyone while providing benefits for members only.  I just don't care, because I'm a cardholder and especially because I'm a Boomer and everyone knows Boomers are all done caring about people who are not Them.  Truth hurts.

What Everyone Wants to Know about that RAM Commercial

 

"Is this self-parody, or are they really being serious here?"

I mean, the only thing we're missing in this repurposed Reagan '84 ad is someone eating a hot dog with one hand and apple pie with the other.  This is not Everyday Commercial Cringe.  It's what Skynet would create if asked to create Cringe.  It's Cringe on an Epic Level. 

Nobody in the comment section* thinks that this is a good ad.  The only thing anyone wants to know is- is this for real?  Is RAM trying to make us laugh, or making fun of us. or what?  

*there's actually one person here who claims to love this ad "and America."  But it has to be a bot.  It just has to. 

4Stupid People who like to think that they are Patriots, I guess

 

Quick Boomer Tip:  Avoid companies that use words like "Patriot" or "Liberty" or "Freedom" in their names.  Those are cheap marketing ploys designed to tweak a very smooth part of the brain that should never, ever be used in making purchasing decisions.

The "4Patriots" solar generator - proudly made in China, perhaps even in the same factory that makes Trump Watches and MAGA caps- has a ton of terrible reviews describing it as cheaply-made, unreliable, and overpriced.  So it's not really "4Patriots"- it's for really shallow people who measure patriotism based on how many American flags they display and how many times they voted for a convicted felon/cult leader/Russian asset carnival barker.  You know, people who are already in the dark in every other respect so won't mind being let down by a piece-of-junk-garbage generator if it's called "4Patriot."  Just tell them they're owning the Libs. 

DraftKings, Two Grown Men, and Anything for a Buck

 

I don't know what these two jackass multimillionaires are pretending to joke about, nor do I care.  All that matters to me is that they are doing it in service of an addictive app that ruins marriages, finances, friendships, and lives.  With great big smiles on their faces. 

Because there's no such thing as Enough Money, I guess.  

The actual content of this ad?  Who cares?  I don't gamble.  The people I respect most in the world could not convince me to gamble.  These guys are so far from the people I respect most in the world, they aren't even in the same universe.  And they sure didn't gain any points when they decided to make this crap.

Straight Talk for the Awful People in this Commercial

 

You guys are so damn enamored of your stupid electronic devices that your kids are totally free-range.  In every scene, the kids are jumping around while their alleged "parents" are staring a phone, only getting attention when they seem to be on the verge of destroying another piece of conspicuous consumption.

Then, once the problem of untrained children jumping on furniture is "solved" with the purchase of a trampoline, the "parents" go right back to ignoring those kids- never mind that every single trampoline sold in the United States comes with a warning not to let children play on them without parental supervision.  The "parents" are close enough to notice a seriously hurt child and are holding a device that can connect with emergency services so it's all good, I guess.  I bet these wonderful people are even committed to glancing outside to "check" on the kids during moments the dopamine hits from the entertainment the phone is providing is interrupted.  

I don't understand this mindset at all.  Those children you chose to have are going to be children only for a moment.  This is the time to revitalize your own youth, and build permanent emotional bonds, by engaging with your offspring.  Instead, you choose to act like they are annoyances distracting you from the REAL joy of your life- a freaking phone.  Your priorities are absolutely insane.  Your kids are being denied real parents, and you are denying YOURSELVES the joy of experiencing your children's innocent youthful joy- for this?  

Don't come to me complaining that your kids grew up too fast or, now that they are out of the house, never visit.  You reap what you sow.  Turn the damn phone off.  Turn the damn tv off.  Engage with your kids.  Ok rant over.