Monday, December 21, 2009

Kay Jewelers: Your Place for Creepy

A woman is standing by a huge window, staring out at the hurricane battering the favorite forest getaway of her husband and herself.

In response to a clash of lightning and thunder, this woman jumps into the arms of her husband. "I'm right here" he assures her.

Then he pulls out a little box and hands it to her- "and I always will be."

Sorry, but this totally creeps me out. First, this woman acts like a little girl, frightened of thunder and lightning at the age of roughly thirty. Second, what's with the two-days growth of beard on the husband's face? Did I miss the memo that ordered every American male to limit shaving to not more than twice a week? Seriously- when was the last time you saw a clean-shaven guy under the age of fifty in a commercial?

But I digress...

Third- the guy puts her into some kind of arm-lock that simply doesn't go well with his "..and I always will be." I get the sense that if she ever tries to leave, she's going to find herself living at the bottom of a well, putting the lotion in the bucket.

Was this your intention, Kay Jewelers? Every kiss begins with Kay, and ends with Obsession? It's not hard to see this lovely getaway weekend ending with a lot of "If I can't have you, no one can" screaming and an ocean of blood. I guess maybe that's because I'm not as much in the Holiday mood as the good people at Kay are. This is almost as bad as the "Love, Symbolized by a Knot" message in another ad. Yes, nothing more romantic than the message "we are bound together forever."

Unless you add "Or Else."


  1. "Oh God, please don't be creepy about this just because I'm not marrying you."
    "Don't worry, I am not going to be creepy about this. I'm not going to murder you or anything. I am just going to murder everyone else in the world, and then myself, so you can think about what you've done."

  2. I thought the same thing -- when he says "and I always will be," he sounds surreal or disembodied -- like a stalker or someone watching the object of his obsession on the bank of monitors that are connected to the cameras hidden in every room of her house.

  3. Yes, yes and more yes! This commercial upsets me to no end. Thankfully, the holidays are almost over, and hopefully this one won't return next year (or be replaced with something worse).

    In the meantime, this commercial also offers a lot of creepiness (though not jewelry or Christmas related):

    Happy holidays! Here's to a better 2010! :)

  4. When exactly did the lunatics who used to do the car ads branch out into selling jewelry? It's bad enough to see the Audi snots, the morons who can't function without a cell phone crutch and the jerks hawking medicine with the premise "You need this pill but it'll kill you" without having to see the opening of Sleeping with the Enemy all to sell shiny shiny diamonds.

  5. It would be far more honest of the jewelry industry to have ads that show a close-up of their product while a narrator chants the phrase "Pretty, pretty! Shiny, shiny!" non-stop; that's because they're appealing to the human instinct to value and grab onto shiny objects.

  6. It's Baaaack! I can't stand it. Just in time for Valentine's Day.