Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Give me a break- It's a USED CAR

What is it with Mercedes-Benz? All of their commercials attempt to convince us that their Used cars are something more than Used cars. The word "used" is never uttered in any of their ads- instead, we hear the laughingly wordy substitute "Certified Pre-Owned Vehicles."

"Certified Pre-Owned?" Doesn't that translate into "we guarantee in writing that this car was originally purchased and driven by at least one other person?" Well, that's pretty special- the next time I buy a used car, I want it to come with a Certificate of Pre-Ownership. The scratches, dents, worn carpeting and odometer reading just isn't going to cut it for me anymore- I want a CERTIFICATE telling me that someone else used to make payments on this thing!

In this particularly annoying Mercedez-Benz commercial, a little girl is musing about how she will someday own the car she's being driven to kindergarten in- "and when this is MY car, I'M not letting kids put their feet up on the seat!" Oh, please. First of all, I'm sure it's every little kid's dream to inherit a 20-year old car which was Used (sorry, "Pre-Owned") when her PARENTS bought it. Second, this kid is so fixated on the car that she's already creating rules she'll be imposing on her non-existent children when her parents hand it off to her?

(There's another commercial- I'm not sure it's for Mercedez-Benz- where a little brat in the back seat grunts and shakes his head until Daddy agrees to the Deluxe Car Wash option, because after all, it will be Little Brat's car in a dozen years or so, and that makes it necessary to give it an expensive bath now.....somehow....)

But I digress from my main point- I don't care if it's a 2009 Mercedes-Benz, a 2003 Honda Civic, or a 1977 Gremlin. If it had a previous owner, it's a USED CAR. Not "Certified Pre-Owned." USED. Get off your pedestal, you pompous blowhards.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish off the Pre-Cooked Dinner in my refrigerator. Maybe you eat leftovers, but I'm too good for that.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, yes' where would pretentious clods be without their beloved weasel words? I can readily imagine Mike Patterson boasting about his "Certified Pre-Owned" Benz to try to impress the other Foobs.