...because I'm really sick of the powerful suggestion running through all of these ads that Greg is someone to be looked up to, respected, maybe even admired. He is absolutely nothing of the sort.
We are told that Greg is a "Substitute Teacher, Motivational Speaker, and Paid Testimonialist." As far as I'm concerned, that means Greg is Unskilled Labor with a Hustle. He's found a way to take his total lack of productivity and turn it into a steady paycheck. He sits in other people's classrooms when actual professionals are absent, he somehow manages to convince people that he can "motivate" them to do things he doesn't do, and he endorses things for money. And that's about it.
But here's the part that really grates me about the radio version of this ad: Greg introduces himself to the audience by explaining that his motivation is to "give back." THAT'S why he's a substitute teacher and motivational speaker (and paid testimonialist?) Not for the money, but because he wants to "give back." The world has been good to him, you see, so he's going to sacrifice his golden years by "giving back." Isn't he something, ladies and gentlemen? Yeah, no, Greg. Take that halo off, it doesn't belong there.
Look, Greg. Everyone's got to earn a living. You earn yours by providing no actual value, but as long as you can find someone to pay you, I'm not going to knock your hustle. But don't tell us you're doing any of this because you feel the need to "give back." You're a warm body (substitute teacher,) a traveling hypnotist (motivational speaker,) and spokeschoad (paid testimonialist.) There's nothing special, let alone admirable, about you at all. A hundred years ago, you'd be drifting town to town selling apple cider mixed with gasoline out of a cart under the label GREG'S MIRACLE MEMORY ELIXER. And at least you'd be putting actual effort in to earn that paycheck. Right now, you're just a sad joke we want off our radios and tvs because we're sick to death of your self-congratulatory, smarmy shtick. Go away now and take your BS snake oil with you.