With its sleek styling and eye-catching extras like Driver and Google Assist, built-in GPS, heated seats, steering wheel, seatbelts, dash, glove compartment and sun visors (probably, why not) as well as screens everywhere you look, the Buick Enclave will impress your friends every minute it is in your driveway and not at the Dealership getting something else fixed- in other words, roughly three weekends a month.
With a base model (stripped down, including NONE of the things mentioned in the above paragraph) price of only $45,890 you don't need to be among the One Percent to "own" one of these ridiculous, overengineered beauties. You just need $4999 due at signing and convenient monthly payments of $679 a month for sixty months,* assuming you qualify for the low low advertised APR...which would make you among the One Percent.
Otherwise, we can get you into this Wannabee LookAtMeMobile for that $679 a month, we'll just stretch it out over 72 months, don't worry it looks exactly the same in your driveway, there's no way your neighbors will know. Your mechanic might eventually notice that he's been working on the same obnoxious piece of Foolish Vanity like clockwork for seven years but who cares what he thinks, he probably drives a Toyota or something else Sensible, the Loser.
With only five active recalls and minor, barely-worth-mentioning common complaints such as engine cooling issues, engine electrical issues, squeaking or grinding brakes, and the minor, expected-in-all-models early transmission rebuild or replace, this Buick will be the gem of your neighborhood. And on those occasions when you actually have it out on the road, those screens are a great distraction from a heater that doesn't heat and AC that doesn't cool.
Remember, in Buick commercials Buick owners are always asking "where's the Buick?" or saying "let's take the Buick?" because when you own a Buick you are constantly reminded it's a Buick. I mean, the name is right there on top of the work order and the monthly payment.
*by the way, you can easily find ten-year old versions of this model for as low as $7300 on the used car market. Makes you think about little thing called Depreciation, doesn't it? If not, let me quickly break it down for you: If you bought this Buick new in 2015 for $26000 and paid it off in $360.99 per month installments over the course of six years, in 2021 you'd own a car that four years later would be worth $7300. If that sounds like a good deal to you, then paying $499 a month for six years for a 2025 model instead of $7300 for the 2015 probably sounds good too.** So go for it. I'm just glad you don't handle my money.
**And I'm not even going to mention the difference in insurance rates when comparing a 2015 Buick to the 2025 model. I think I've made my point.
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