Crumbl "Cookies" aren't even "cookies"- they are cakes. The company called Crumbl Cookies releases a new flavor of cake every single week and ships them out to their cult members....errr, customers, who are so super-dedicated to these thick, heavy piles of sugar that they rush to Reddit and YouTube, etc. to gush all over them whenever a new vid pops up.
These cakes have been compared to "fast fashion"- because the variety is so huge, and because the release dates are always on the way, the fan base locks in to the routine of weekly cookie delivery like wealthy people look forward to the latest clothing showing up. When I look at the nutrition label, I think of them more like the dependable delivery of drugs right to your door, because oh my god are these things terrible for your body. Crumbl "cookies" can have up to 900 calories each and are stuffed full of cholesterol and sugar. They are something you might want to eat on your birthday or as desert on Thanksgiving. Weekly deliveries? Ick.
And if you don't care about your health, well, what about your wallet? These things run, on average, five dollars each. Five dollars. For a COOKIE. Oh, but you can have them delivered to your door in packs of six for $22.99. And if you are getting weekly deliveries of six cookies, please tell me that at least a dozen people are going to be helping you consume those cookies.
The first thing I thought when I saw these cookies was "ok, just another version of Cinnabon." The average Cinnabon cake has about the same number of calories as one of these Crumbl products. But it's not a great idea to eat Cinnabon on a regular basis, either. Yet apparently millions of people adore these cookies, order these cookies, consume these cookies, and FOLLOW these cookies on multiple social media platforms* like they are Taylor Swift or something. What is the matter with you people?
*check out the comments on this YouTube ad. Yes, I meant to use the word "cult." Again- what is the matter with you people? It's a freaking overpriced, unhealthy mountain of fat and sugar. Not the second coming of The Beatles.
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