On this Memorial Day Weekend it seems especially fitting to focus on the company that claims that it's overpriced pieces of Junk on Wheels are "Patriotic" because eighty years ago vastly different versions were used to defeat the Nazis or something.
But then again, Jeep is constantly asking us to ignore the fact that these boxes of glitchy garbage get consistently poor ratings across the board and just focus on the word PATRIOT ostentatiously stamped into the side in raised letters. That and the WWII imagery and the constantly waving American flags are supposed to distract us from the craptacular depreciation numbers and constant breakdowns caused by next-level Planned Obsolescence. And to ignore the fact that the current Jeep Patriot Sport Whatever is an SUV, not a "Jeep" by any traditional measure. The only "Jeep" thing about it is the word stamped on the side.
I could go out today and buy a brand new Jeep Patriot at my local dealer for $54,000. Or, I could buy a 2016 version with 69,000 miles on it for $9000. Remember what I said about "depreciation?" Or I could buy TWO brand-new Honda SUVs for the same price. Or I could just appreciate my current Honda Civic and take a bike ride. Guess how I'm going to Remember the Fallen this weekend?
*but only if the scoundrel wants to be left stranded while his refuge is in the shop. Again.
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