1. Why does it take two people to deliver extra towels to the room? One person to actually carry the towels and another to tell the customer that these are, in fact, the extra towels they ordered? Is this why the room is so expensive, Hilton?
2. Who is going Without because an unlimited amount of extra towels is being made available to this one room? Does Hilton just HAVE an infinite supply of towels stashed away somewhere? Every single one of these towels will have to be laundered for the next guests. Going to be hiring more help to get that done, Hilton?
3. Why is this commercial running twice during every commercial break of the college football game I have on in the background? What's with the oversaturation? Once was too many. Once every break is too many. Twice during every commercial break is, I believe, a War Crime as defined by the Geneva Convention.
4. Why is everything and everyone on tv so stupid? Why does every ad have to assault our common sense and braincells like this? I'm pretty sure it wasn't always the case. What happened?
All of these DriveTime commercials have one thing in common- the laser-like focus on the monthly payment.
Know what kind of customer actually obsesses over the monthly payment of a car that they are interested in? The kind of customer who is terrible at math, terrible at planning, terrible at budgeting, and 100 percent invested in Living for Today.
There's another DriveTime ad in which the phrase "Monthly Payment" is uttered three times in less than 15 seconds. When I find it I will definitely comment on it, because that's even more cringe than this garbage.
Of course, the number that really matters is the FINAL PURCHASE PRICE OF THE CAR. It's a number we pretty much never see in DriveTime ads. If asked, DriveTime would explain that it's because the final price depends on....the monthly payment chosen by the consumer.
Because what they NEVER TELL YOU is that the smaller the monthly payment, the HIGHER THE INTEREST RATE CHARGED SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THIS IS NOT COMPLICATED AND YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
Instead, DriveTime shows us the cool Monthly Payment Slide Bar you get when you download the app. Look, you can decide how much extra hidden interest you want to pay by keeping that monthly hit low you want to pay per month to live an economic lie represented by a vehicle. In short, that sliding bar exists to do the job car salesmen used to do- to convince you to buy a car you have no business buying.
Let's illustrate this. Let's say that one of these idiots really really wants that Crossover with a sticker price of $40,000. You don't have $40,000 but you do have decent credit, so you look at financing at 6% for 48 months (until a few years ago, that was the length of the average new car loan.) You move that little blue bar on your app, and find that your monthly payment is - $939. For four years, at the end of which you will have paid just over $5000 in interest.
Ouch, you say. "I can't afford that," you say. "I had better look for something more reasonable," you DON'T say. Because you've got that app with the little blue bar, which you now pull to the right to magically stretch out your loan lower that monthly payment.
Hey look! With a single touch, you've dropped that monthly payment to $705. MUCH more manageable, NOW we're talking, NOW we've got a deal! So what if your payments have been extended to 72 months instead of 48, and you'll be paying $10,000 in interest instead of five. The only thing that matters is the Holy Monthly Payment, right?
This is how they get you. Because it looks easy. It looks simple. The screen is too small to show the details, not that they have any interest in showing the details. It's all about getting you comfortable and convinced you can afford it. $705 is less than $939, where do I sign?
Some people live on an economic razor's edge because they are underpaid and exploited by a system designed to extract labor out of them for as little return as absolutely necessary. And then there are these people, who are determined to put themselves into terrible economic traps through impulsivity and blissful ignorance. Guess which group I don't have an ounce of sympathy for?
You can either watch ESPN's usual wankfest over these two over-exposed, overrated idiots, who have inexplicably been given an entire broadcast on ESPN 2 to toss scripted banter at each other for three hours while the game plays in a side panel...or a morbidly obese fascist convicted felon draft dodger wearing a Made in China baseball cap pretend he knows how to salute in between bringing the prestige of the United States to new lows...or you can watch FOX, CNN, etc. remind you of your Duty to Remember 9/11 by Doing Something (I think "remembering" is actually enough as long as it's done in a showy fashion involving kneeling, praying, weeping....) OR, getting back to ESPN, you can watch that 60-minute glurgefest revisionist "9 innings at Ground Zero" or whatever it was called which tries to convince us that there was a week in the fall of 2001 when we were all Yankees fans and I WASN'T on the edge of my seat pulling for The Great Mariano to blow it and I WASN'T thrilled out of my mind when he did (#theterroristswon.)
In any case, it's been a rough day. I won't be around for Anniversary #50 and I'm good with that. When the best option was watching two Mannings get licked up and down by "America's Premier Sports Network," you know the options were AWFUL.
Someone in the comment section said that they were "inspired" by this ad. They didn't elaborate, but I'm hoping that the ad inspired them to learn a new skill, like tying their own shoes.
Personally, nothing about this commercial makes me thirsty for a bottle of liquid candy and acid. And certainly nothing about it inspires me to attend a sporting event. Not if there's any chance of sitting next to some jackass who decides that he needs to react to Athletes Doing Things by screaming his damn fool empty head off.
I mean, let's be honest. The "I can do anything better than you" is coming from the computer and the Artificial Intelligence it comes pre-loaded with. The humans? They are just there to carry the brains of the outfit from place to place for some reason.
*The laptop can also handle the student debt better than any of you, but it doesn't have to. Hope your boss lets you hide behind the capabilities of AI until you get at least SOME of that paid off.
Meanwhile...man, this guy is getting old. Remember when he could play big, imposing guys? I know he's had health problems, but this is not the way I need to be reminded.
No, this isn't fun. This is...sad, actually. I mean, it's not "check out me and my buddies having fun gambling on our phones" sad. But still...sad.
Last Sunday I walked into my local T-Mobile to complete the switch away from a family plan and to my own 55+ plan for which I will be paying $55 per month. While there, I asked about a possible upgrade for my old Samsung Galaxy +9, which has a broken charging port and which can no longer accept newer apps (and the old ones- like Capital One, and MLB, are dropping off my phone like flies when THEY need to update.)
I was "offered" two choices- either $250 toward a trade-in for a $1300 Galaxy 25, or a "free" Galaxy 25 when I signed a three-year contract at $90 per month. Doing some quick math, that means that the "offer" was to make 36 Easy Payments of $35 each- a total of $1230. I politely (as possible) declined and walked out with my new plan and my old phone. Currently looking for a refurbished Galaxy 25, which should be available for between $400-$600. In the meantime, the wireless charger is working fine.
Yes, this announcement is ALMOST nothing. Except, not quite, because smoke and mirrors and lying by omission isn't exactly Nothing.
