Nobody cares where you're going, Mr. Thornton- but they DO care that you're holding up the line for no apparent reason except that you're lonely and you want to engage in pointless chitchat (in the form of lengthy pitch for T-Mobile) with a woman whose ONLY job is to assist actual customers.
Let me make this real simple for you, Pathetic Boomer Meme: There is a woman in front of you with a job to do. There are people behind you who want her to do her job. They actually do care where they are going. They don't just hang around the damn rental desks for their damn health. Somebody, call security.
After you've nearly died of cringe watching two multimillionaires giggle like teen girls over the prospect of $200 of "free bets" for $5, you can check out this excellent video showing how these "Sports Book" apps REALLY operate. And you can contemplate how a Betting App which bleats constantly about how its customers WIN WIN WIN manages to stay in business if all the money is flowing one way.
Of course, the money DOES flow one way. Into the pockets of the company which made the app, which then buys the souls of ex jocks and crap comedians and a majority of Congress and pretty much everyone else who just wants their share of the thirty pieces of silver (and a lot more) being gathered up by these vultures.
If you have SiriusXM, you've certainly heard ads for Medishare and you probably already know what I mean when I say they are among the cringiest commercials we've ever heard.
The guy in the ad has this bland smiling cadence to his voice that just screams Youth Pastor as he tells us how much people just loooove Medishare- not because it saves customers "hundreds of dollars a month, on average three hundred dollars a month" but because it's a "community" of people with "Christian Values" who, when you call, will "offer to pray with you." (Personally, if I call an insurance company to ask a question about health coverage, or to file a claim, or to dispute a rejected claim, and am asked if I want people to pray for me, I know I'm totally screwed.)
It sounds like Medishare is fine as long as your doctor is In Network and a real hassle if he isn't- which is exactly like all other insurance works. Except, I'm willing to bet serious money that relatively very few doctors are In Network when it comes to Medishare. I may be wrong, but considering that I've never met anyone who has Medishare and I've never seen Medishare listed as a health insurance accepted by any doctor I've ever been to...yeah, actually I don't think I'm wrong.
And again- "when you call, we'll offer to pray with you..." Such a red flag. I can pray for myself. I don't want my mechanic to offer to pray over my car. If I'm in a plane I don't want to the pilots to pray during severe turbulence. And I don't want my health insurance to "pray for me." I want Medishare to act like any other insurance company- do their very best to deny coverage whenever possible and bury me in jargon and red tape when I try to get a bill paid. That I can understand.
It's a gambling app that skirts the already virtually non-existent anti-gambling laws by calling itself a "Futures Market." A gambling app that sells itself with stupid commercials designed to befuddle and flummox and and cause the viewer to chuckle and think about pretty much anything EXCEPT the fact that it's selling a life-ruining addiction as "fun."
Yes, I know what Kalshi is. And yes, in 2026 it really is Totally Normal. More's the pity.
And there's nothing sadder than a guy dealing with a broken date with a night of staring at his phone screen and tapping to earn "coins" of whose worth, I am proud to say, I have absolutely no concept.
Maybe this guy's girlfriend was able to get her boyfriend's intense ugliness, but not his sad addiction to playing stupid gambling-adjacent games on his phone? Well, at least when she turns him down, he won't have to hock that ring behind her back.
Yeah, I have no mercy for the actors who are willing to appear in ads pitching this garbage. And - Ryan Secord? He's still a thing? Well, considering that he's in ads for Chumba Casino, I guess the answer is "No?"
It's not funny enough that the woman in this ad is listing suggestions of all the things one could do if they were suddenly handed $10,000. I think we were aware already. She has to include "pay down that payday loan" as one of the options. Yeah- pay down that payday loan with....another payday loan.
And if you got that quick $10,000 loan from Western Sky, you'd pay back $743.49 for eighty-four months, a total of just over $62,000. There's credit card expensive, pawn shop expensive, payday loan expensive, loan shark expensive....and Western Sky expensive. Which means that the people who applied for money from Western Sky had either burned through all of those other options, or actually thought that Western Sky was a better deal. Neither is a good sign.
So...how did things work out for these customers before Western Sky was shut down in 2013 under an avalanche of lawsuits and government investigations for violations of usury laws?
The word of the year is Affordability. The phrase of the year is Affordability Crisis. The mood of the year is Exhausted if it isn't Just Plain Scared.
None of this is going to stop Capital One from giving us another year of Jennifer Garner and her friends zipping around the world seeing Amazing Things in between drinking white wine from comfy chairs in exclusive Capital One airport lounges, putting everything on Capital One cards which earn Big Big Points Rewards for people who spend as much money on them as, say, Jennifer Garner.
This is almost as tone-deaf as the Lexus December to Remember Ads which will start showing up between Halloween and Thanksgiving. Almost.
