Sunday, March 1, 2009

Dear Volkswagen: Sell me THAT car! Or just shut up!

Full disclosure: My first car was a black 1964 Volkswagen Beetle. Actually, the car was my grandfather's, but he let me drive it any time I wanted. Until one day in 1983, when I lost control of it trying to avoid a deer on a dirt road, rolled it three times, and totaled it.

My second car- and the first one which had a title in my name- was a blaze-orange 1974 Superbeetle. I loved that car. Except for the fact that it burned more oil than gasoline, broke down pretty much every other day, and wouldn't start if it was under 32 degrees outside until I had a little heater installed underneath the engine, it was a great car. Broke my heart to sell it- for $600- after a year when it was time to go back to college.

Anyway, what all this is leading to is my critique of the series of Volkswagen commercials featuring the black VW bug talking into a microphone- first saying "thees is getting very interesting" (when it really, really wasn't- I mean, come on, a floating computer screen which you signed to find out which cookie-cutter volkswagen matched your personality?) The Jump the Shark moment for this particular theme was when we had an utterly creepy pair of twins come in to pick out a car- one of the Stepford Sisters says "I came in yesterday and got a Passat with Sign and Drive, and now my sister wants one too." This sister is ultimately mortified when it turns out her clone is better matched to a Jetta. Horrors! (As if there's any difference between a Passat and a Jetta- Slylock Fox would be stumped attempting to find one.)

And now the tag line is "it's what the people want."

What the people want is a boring pseudo-compact that only comes in white? Really? Well, at least you aren't trying to tell me that "this is getting very interesting" anymore. But in your most recent effort, dear Volkswagen people, you've really lost me.

We have a number of people telling us things like " the people want good gas mileage." "the people want comfort." "the people want style." Then you totally blow it, showing what appears for all the world like an 8-year old girl telling us from the back seat "the people want to go potty. Now."

Potty? Really? From an eight-year old? Uck. Come on.

Bring back the clone girls. At least they had a potentially interesting storyline: the passive-agressive battle between the Dominant Human and her once-submissive, suddenly slightly assertive copy. Now that the formerly retiring spinoff has broken free and purchased a Jetta, what's next? Different clothes? A smile?

Come on. Be bold. Show us the back story. I'm sure it will be plenty ugly, but it's bound to be better than infantalized preteens demanding a chance to go Potty.

Did you even look at this girl before you handed her the script?

1 comment:

  1. never personally had 1 but all i hear is good. only prob is repair costs. 1 thing to think of if your buying 2nd hand!