Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How Did We Ever Survive before McDonalds?

Woman opens up her refrigerator, only to have a couple of eggs fall to the floor at her feet. She looks mournfully at the mess.

Guy opens up a bottle of milk and sniffs it. From the expression on his face, we can surmise that the milk was purchased sometime during the Bush Administration.

Woman attempts to flip a pancake (why? Because she saw it done in a movie once?) It falls on the burner and catches fire. She looks mournfully at the mess.

"You only get one shot at breakfast...." according to the narrator. Except that two of the three people shown didn't even get that one shot. So starvation is inevitable. But wait- McDonald's is offering two Egg McMuffins for only three dollars! Thank Goodness! Not only do you not have to risk burning down your house to avoid morning hunger, but you can get an overdose of grease, fat and salt without doing much damage to your wallet! Yay McDonalds!

Seriously, though. We aren't capable of 1) putting eggs in the refrigerator so they dont' fall on the floor when you open it, 2) buying milk on more than a bi-annual schedule, or 3) using a spatula. So we need everyone's favorite Obesity Factory and it's Menu of Death.

Well, no thank you, McDonalds. I think I'll continue to risk my life pouring milk into the bowl with my Cheerios. Maybe I'll mess it up on ocassion, but wiping up a spill is still easier than recovering from a stroke.

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