Saturday, July 11, 2009

Saturn: Some of the Customers are Always Right, for a while

"We here at Saturn believe that YOU, the CUSTOMER, know more about how you buy cars than we do."

Well, damn right! Finally, a car company that respects my personal car-buying practices!

"I mean, who knows more about how to buy a car, your dealer- or YOU?"

Again, damn right! No one knows more about how I buy a car than I do! I mean, I buy a car every six years or so, while my dealer sells them every, wait a minute....never mind! I know what I know and I want what I want! Yay Saturn!

"So at Saturn, YOU decide. Want our great Cash Back Offer? Want to go for a lease? It's totally up to you."


But wait- here come the dampening disclaimers: "Offer expires October 2009." Um, huh? So Saturn believes that customers, and not dealers, should be able to decide the terms of their purchase- but only for a limited time? What happens after October? Do customers become dumb again after Halloween? If Saturn "believes that customers know best," why do they only believe that "customers know best" only until the leaves turn orange? What the heck?

And another one- "Not all customers will qualify." How does this work? "I'm sorry, sir, but based on your credit history, it would be downright dangerous to let you make this choice yourself. We'll be making the decisions for you. And by the way, we strongly encourage you to put your kids up for adoption." I mean, how insulting is that? What Saturn really means is "we believe that SOME customers know what's best for them. Others, however, will take what we offer them, and be thankful, or get the hell out of our showroom."

Saturn truly is a Different Kind of Car Company, believing in Power to (Some) Customers, for a Limited Time. Truly Revolutionary. I can't believe it needed an infusion of government bailout money to survive, with such radically progressive ideas. I can't wait for the response of other car companies to Saturn's bold move-- maybe another round of Employee Pricing or Zero Percent Financing.

Because some of us deserve it. For a limited time.

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