Saturday, October 3, 2009

Are we going to meet the extended family now?

Here's AT&T mom again, and here's asshole "I won't use old minutes" boy again, and here's silent-as-always younger son again, but something is different in this commercial. A new character has been added- Doofus Dan, a thirtysomething brother/cousin/Uncle/Who the Hell Knows Why He's Here who has joined everyone's Favorite Disfunctional TV family in the backyard for some reason.

Doofus Dan is chucking those stupid little clocks which represent "minutes" for his dog to retrieve. Mom calls him out on it, telling him to stop. Doofus Dan immediately launches into a Why Bother To Save Speech which I'm sure he was put up to by Asshole Boy, who spends the entire commercial sitting at the picnic table staring at Mom with this frozen half-smile on his face.

Mom then explains how the minutes are still valuable, blah blah blah we've all heard this a MILLION times over the past year, and Doofus Dan attempts to return to the pile the little clock retrieved by his dog. "You can use that one," she says.

I guess AT&T put together a few focus groups who agreed that we've seen enough of the endless, fruitless battle between Whiny Mom and Dickhead Son Who Won't Save Minutes And You Can't Make Him. So now they've introduced a clueless, overweight dumbass who has apparently been recruited by Dickhead Son to fight the battle for him. This works for me, if Dickhead Son recedes into the background until he ultimately vanishes altogether, because seriously, I've had more than enough of his stoned look and entitled attitude.

But, AT&T? Please stop here. Please don't show us the In-Laws next, or the neighbors, or grandma and grampa working to dispose of the family's extra minutes to the endless mortification of Mom. She's been through enough, and at times she really looks like she's going to snap already. And there's nothing especially compelling about this family that makes us wonder what their relatives and acquaintances are like, believe me.

Please, move on to a new storyline already. And if you can get GEICO to let you take their gecko with them, all the better.


  1. As long as you're getting rid of annoying mascots, you should ask them to shoot the Charmin bears and the Verizon flash mob.

  2. I can't believe how much mileage the Geek with Glasses has gotten from his ability to half-smile and give a slight wave.

    And pretty much the only time we DID hear him talk (past the "Can you Hear me Now?" phase,) it was to join a teen-aged girl in chastising her mom for writing "I Love You" all over her Facebook (?) page- "Other people can see that..." F-you, mind your own business, and stick to standing there with your mom smiling stupidly, ok?

  3. ("With your Mom" should have read "With your Mob," darn it.)