Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Ford F-150: Sure You'll Kill Somebody, but you'll be fine!

Every once in a while, I see a commercial that makes me really, REALLY angry. Here's one from our friends at Ford:

"...Because you're going to eat a Cheeseburger while you drive...." (we see our typical twentysomething asshole jamming food into his face and paying only the most casual "attention" to the road he's cruising down.)

"....Because you are going to talk on your cellphone while you drive...." (we see the same guy blathering away on the little box jammed up against his cheek, barreling down the highway without a care in the world.)

".....we've introduced the Ford F-150, the Safest Truck in the World." The Ford F-150 has a massive, heavy steel skeleton, drivers and passenger side air bags, blah blah blah.

Oh, that's awesome. So no worries for this prick- he's going to mow down someone in a lesser car while tweeting that he just passed Exit 30B on the Beltway, but he'll be just fine. He'll sideswipe a van while trying to dig out the last french fry from the bottom of the bag, but he'll be unscathed, thanks to that awesome heavy steel cage he's got surrounding his precious self. And the people he kills through his self-centered cluelessness? Well, they should have bought a Ford F-150 or stayed the hell off the highway, I guess (It IS Ford Truck Month, you know.)

Great message, Ford-- Go ahead and drive like a clueless prick who owns the road. You won't suffer any physical consequences if you do it in this reinforced tank. That cry of terror you heard as you bounced your Ford Fuckmobile off the Honda trying to pass? Don't worry your empty little head about it.

"It's crazy out there," the commercial concludes. It sure is, Ford. And you are not helping.


  1. Now THIS is what I'm talking about when I rattle on about how the ad agencies let the maniacs and the crazy people run loose when they do car ads; you'd have to be a full-bore, twelve-cylinder whacko to think encouraging sociopathic aggression was a good idea.

  2. I YouTubed this commercial and actually, if you had paid closer attention, you would have noticed that the commercial is actually talking about the danger of OTHER drivers out there on the road eating cheeseburgers/talking on phones, and the safety of being in the Ford F-150 in defense of THEM....

    I like your observations of these annoying commercials...but for this one, you got it wrong....Ford is actually being the "good guys" here, defending themselves against the nuts who talk/text/eat while driving.

  3. Yes, the most recent ad does show the dangers of OTHER people on the road. But the original ad- the one I snarked on- shows the driver of of the TRUCK as the one who needed protection. The ad was modified to be less vile.