Friday, November 27, 2009

Lowes: Your Place for Tools

Lowes is a Proud Sponsor of NASCAR. Why is this a selling point? Even if I were a fan of NASCAR, why would Lowes' sponsorship of Jimmie Johnson make me want to go to Lowes?

And what's with these phony employees in the most recent Lowes Commercial- there they are, wearing their stupid Lowes vests, jumping up and down hooting and hollering and giving eachother high-fives ("Four in a row, baby! Woo Hoo!") because of COURSE they are all Jimmie Johnson fans and of COURSE they will just DIE if Jimmie Johnson doesn't win the Sprint Cup Series. Does Lowes only hire Jimmie Johnson fans to work in their stores? Does the fact that their employer is a Jimmie Johnson fan somehow make Lowes employees gravitate to NASCAR and Johnson? Would expressing support for Jeff Gordon result in a pink slip and an order to get your sorry ass back to Burger King, you traitor?

Assuming that none of these is the case, why are these overworked, underpaid idiots so fucking excited at the prospect of Jimmie Johnson OR Lowes winning ANYTHING?

Is it just that working for Lowes is so all-consuming and soul-sucking that these people don't know why they are so excited about someone who happens to be sponsored by the mega-conglomerate they slave for? Do they realize that they are making the baggage handlers over at Southwest seem almost normal by comparison?

Maybe it's the vests.

1 comment:

  1. It's worth noting that technically, if you root for Jimmie Johnson, you're also rooting for Jeff Gordon -- at least on paper, Gordon is one of the owners of Johnson's car and team. They both race for the same organization, Hendrick Motorsports.

    Beyond that, you raise an issue that always bugs me -- EVERYTHING seems to be for sale, and anyplace that can become a medium for an advertisement of any kind will.

    It's bad enough to see all the cars in NASCAR and the drivers' suits festooned with ads, the rink under the ice replete with McDonald's and Verizon ads, and so on. It's worse to see an idea or a concept become another way to advertise and make money.

    A few years ago, NASCAR made a rule change that prevented drivers from passing under a yellow flag in an attempt to get back on the lead lap before the leader crossed the finish line.

    As a trade off, NASCAR enacted a second rule that says if there's a yellow flag, the first car not on the lead lap gets to pass the leader under caution and get back on the lead lap. Within weeks, this rule had developed a name -- the "lucky dog" -- and acquired a sponsor -- Aaron's. Now this maneuver is called the Aaron's Lucky Dog, and every time a driver executes it, the company gets airtime.

    The latest example I saw was at the Kansas City airport, where the baggage carousels not have ads on them -- the ads are painted or attached to the individual blades of the carousel, so that once they all come round the corner and are laid out straight, you can see the full color ad for American Tourister, or tourist destinations in Kansas City, or whatever.

    People need to make money. I get it. But honestly, can't at least few places in the world be advertising and profit-motive free?