Thursday, April 13, 2017

Oh Verizon, will you never stop giving me material?

Why nobody is ever, ever going to hire the insanely stupid woman in this ad:

1.  She has a very important job interview, but she's going to miss it because the subway she planned to take is twenty minutes late.  That's right, folks- she really really wants the job, but not enough to give herself ANY extra time to get there.  If she had a car, she might have been stuck in traffic.

If she really wanted that job, she would have planned to be an hour early and parked herself at a coffee shop across the street from the location of the interview.  This isn't freaking rocket science.  She does not really want that job.

2.  She thinks that she's going to save her job prospects by just calling in to the prospective employer.  Oh sure, lady, this is going to work really well.  Your call in from the subway platform is going to be much more impressive than, say, the person-to-person interviews the guy on the other end of the line is going to be conducting with job seekers who actually got their act together and managed to show up on time.  Might as well spend that first paycheck right now.

3.  She tells the prospective employer that she's a "people person."  Seriously, she comes right out and says that.  The cymbal crash which accompanies this makes perfect sense, though not for the reason that Verizon thinks.  It's basically the end of the interview.  I can't imagine ever being impressed by a job applicant who tells me "I'm a people person."  It's like being asked "what do you consider your greatest weakness" and responding "I'm kind of a workaholic, I tend to do everything my employer asks of me and never consider whether its really my job or if I'm getting paid for it, tee hee hee."

I'd be more likely to respond "Oh, you're a people person?  Me too- now if you'll excuse me, I have actual people waiting in my office who are so interested in working for me that they managed to get here in time for their interviews."

Or just tell her that I'm not a person especially impressed by hackneyed cliches OR job applicants with crappy planning skills.  Either works for me.

(BTW, how is the guy holding up the phone to make the interview happen going to prevent a train from approaching in the opposite direction and blocking his view of Stupid Woman on the other platform?  Is he going to order that train not to enter the station, just like he commanded Jackass Please Die Right Now "musician" to stop making a noisy nuisance of himself so Stupid Woman could talk to her potential employer?  I mean, what the hell?)


  1. My greatest weakness is I'm a perfectionist. Bwahahahaha.

    1. The cymbal crash certainly makes sense after "I'm a people person." I think that if I were conducting the interview I would not be able to refrain from laughing at that point and saying something like "seriously? That's all you have?"