Saturday, September 9, 2017
Discover the pain only commercials like this can provide
1. I've watched this commercial four times, and I still can't figure out whether or not the same actor is playing the prospective Discover Card customer and the Discover Card Phone Center Monkey. If it is the same actor, it only makes sense if this is the way Discover is saving a little bit of money by only hiring one guy to cover two roles and thinks this is clever in some way. If they are two different actors, how depressing is it that Generic Thirtysomething Guy on TV Commercials has become SO generic that they might as well just clone this stupid scruffy loser and sell him to ad companies already?
2. Tell me how this jackass has a FICA score 100 points below mine but managed to finance a million-dollar house complete with a brick backyard barbecue and a patio featuring indoor furniture. Or is that his living room in the background, and this house has windows instead of walls? Either way, f--k you you douchenozzle and f--k your "just callin' cause I got even more spare time than I do spare money" attitude.
3. Unlike the bored jerkwad calling from the ridiculous million-dollar McMansion, nobody has ever said "I'm so proud of you" to the phone monkey working in the Discover Card boiler room. And certainly not in English, as I'm pretty sure Discover isn't paying Americans to take pointless calls from bored rich people who somehow managed to achieve financial success without being aware that there are ways of getting their credit score for free AND that checking doesn't impact the freaking score. The guy wasting time with the pond scum and his dog should be a lot browner and his accent should be a lot more Middle-Eastern. I'm sure his name is still Bob, though.