Saturday, June 23, 2018

Galaxy Presents: A woman going nowhere fast

The woman in this ad....oh, I could spend all day on this post, but I'm tired after a long week of classes and have other things to do.....

1.  She's at the airport and she's holding up the people in line because she didn't think to upload her boarding pass until she reached security.  Um, I'm 54 years old and I know enough to TAKE A SCREENSHOT OF MY BOARDING PASS so nothing needs to be loaded.  I also know that boarding passes can still be printed up- and I ALWAYS get a printed copy of my pass, because, you know, stuff still happens. 

2.  She's on the plane and oh noes she can't use her phone to keep what's left of her atrophied brain amused for a few hours, meanwhile she's got a case of the jealous sads because everyone else on the planet is watching movies on their Much Better Much Faster Phones.  You know, stupid woman, there are these things called "books" and "magazines" that don't need to be streamed or downloaded, right?  Even better, they don't need any external memory.  They just need you to have a vocabulary, but you probably tossed that out a few years ago when you discovered Grammarly and talk-to-text, right?

3.  She's trying to get a taxi- oh what am I saying, she's trying to get an Uber, taxis are so 20th century- but she can't because her phone is, again, too slow.  So she's in the rain (we can assume she didn't know it was going to rain because her phone failed to tell her, so no umbrella)  and totally helpless because she's tossed aside all her life experience and sense to lean on her ubiquitious electronic crutch. 

4.  She finally does get a ride, but then she sees a Samsung store and tells the driver to let her off so she can run in and get her slow phone fixed or something.  It takes no time at all for the commissioned salesperson to convince her that there's nothing she can do to make her phone be at her beck and call to save her from her helpless self.  I mean, she COULD get rid of some apps but that's just silly.  So she'll just shell out some more money and upgrade, problem solved.  In the final scene, we find her Loving Her Phone Again 'Cause It's Fast Enough to allow her to sit in an easy chair and stare at something on the screen.  We don't see the phone actually saving her from a situation her non-cellphone owning parents would have had no problem dealing with.  She's just watching something, giving her atrophied brain yet another vacation.

(Oh, and we get some weird scene where a total stranger and his kid stare at her like she's the last free human in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."  They can just TELL she has an inferior, slow phone and she MUST be assimilated or she can expect to be sneered at for being such a luddite.  How do they know that her stress is being caused by her phone and not the heavy rain or some unspoken problem in her life?  There's probably an App for that.)

Seriously, WTF Samsung?  Paper boarding passes.  Books, Magazines, Daydreaming.  Taxis.  How freaking helpless and dependent on electronics do you want us to be?  Do I really want you to answer that?

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