Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Chrysler Pacifica: As shallow as it gets, I hope



Finally having some Quality Time with her thoughts, weird twitchy airhead proceeds to waste that time thinking vacant non-thoughts no human being with two brain cells to rub together thinks.  And, as implied previously, must summon a significant amount of facial muscle energy to accomplish even that.

(I mean, seriously- I can almost hear the director yelling "show me Confusion!  Show me Contemplation!  Now give me a quizzical look!"  No Oscar nominations in this woman's future, that's for sure.*)

This woman is recognized* by a trophy wife driving the same vehicle who assumes that the first woman- when she isn't struggling to contort her face to let us know she's "thinking" things- is green and all that, whatever.  And the punchline is that the first woman is just taking the opportunity to jam a giant sandwich into her mouth at the light.  This is funny Because Reasons.

Not too much more to say about this ad, except to note that it's the first car commercial I've seen in ages which actually mentions certain attributes of the automobile beyond it's WiFi capablities.  We don't even see anyone yakking on their phones in this ad, which is at least one small step forward.  It's still a gigantic Salute to Stupid, but at least it doesn't promote behavior that puts me in danger every time I cross the street.  I do wish that it didn't suggest that driving a two-ton piece of metal that keeps the DRIVER safe is a good time to list the most banal thoughts that have ever popped into the head of any biped ever, but I know that suggesting it's time better spent paying attention to one's surroundings is a bridge too far for most people, so I'll take what I can get.

*I see that this is another You're Supposed To Know Who This Is commercial featuring a Well-Known To People Addicted to Some Mind-Numbingly Dumb Show actress.  Proud to say that I don't know who she is, nor do I care.


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