Saturday, February 2, 2019
Consumer Cellular: Because being obnoxious with cell phones isn't just for you loser millenials anymore!
Watching these obnoxious Consumer Cellular ads with their ridiculous grinning self-satisfied Retired and Lovin' It Baby Boomers yapping endlessly about how much they adore Usin' the cell phones Just Like Their Grandchildren seriously makes me want to punch somebody.
Hey, Stupid Old People who had everything handed to them on a silver platter because they were born at the right time: It's bad enough that the entire economy has catered to you for my entire life and that means that most of the commercials I see today is for drugs designed to treat Old People Diseases. The very last thing any of us need to see now is you ridiculous idiots pretending to be thrilled to death over technology everyone under the age of fifty got used to over twenty years ago.
And it's even worse that there's one commercial after another for this stupid service featuring people who are in that golden age between Just Retired and Completely Helpless wasting what little productive time they have left hanging out with fellow Stupid Old People playing with their Amazing Phones. Why aren't you using those ridiculous pension plans and swollen bank accounts to travel or something, you stupid ugly old knobs?
At least get the hell off my television. I'm done with you people. Seriously, we get it: You've got it all. You've always had it all. Now you're old, rich and healthy and you can't even let your kids have the addiction to cellphones to themselves.