Sunday, December 19, 2021

SuperBeets: Bipartisan Snake-- Um, Powder


A lot of the YouTube comments following this ad focus on it's host- Fox News talking head and NRA enthusiast Dana Loesch, and how they would or would not buy any product she promoted.  And I totally get that- I mean, if I came across a MyPillow and thought it was the most comfortable thing I'd ever rested my head on I still wouldn't buy one.  But I have too much to say about the rest of the ad, and the product itself, to reach for the low-hanging fruit.  So- you are dismissed, Ms Loesch.

We hear the term "healthy energy" a couple of times in this commercial, and I seriously have no idea what that means.  In what way is energy "healthy" or "unhealthy?"  Having energy allows you to do things helpful OR harmful to your health.  So it's just a nonsense phrase.  We might as well hear the phrase "positive vibes," but I'm guessing that there wasn't enough money in the budget to convince Ms. Loesch to utter that level of hipster doofus woo.  Almost, but not quite.  So we get "healthy energy" instead.

This stuff is just powdered beet juice.  Beets are high in antioxidants.  They are good for you, especially if you want to reduce inflammation of the joints.  They are vegetables.  They are good for you.  Wait, I said that already.  But this doesn't mean they are "super foods" because there's no such thing.  They aren't a magic bullet to restore youthful energy (or even "healthy energy,") they won't accelerate brain function and they won't turn you from a couch potato to an Olympic athlete.  They are just beets. 

They won't do any harm, that's for sure.  But buying into "SuperBeets" will cause harm to your wallet- this junk is $40 per shipment, and each shipment is a "month's worth" (who determines how much you need per month? Why, this company of course) and to get that "special deal" you have to get a SUBSCRIPTION which sends a jar of powdered beets to your door every thirty days.  That's forty dollars you could spend on 6-8 three-pound bags of frozen fruit at the grocery store (like I do.)  For powdered beets.  Uh huh.

Fact is, this crap will do nothing for you that a balanced diet with lots of fruits and veggies, little or no processed sugar, and limited fats and carbs won't do much better.  And it'll even make it more likely that you get regular moderate exercise (probably because of the "healthy energy" you'll feel.)  And you won't have to go broke as part of the bargain.  A double win!

But who am I to disagree with Dana Loesch?  After all, SuperBeets are something both she and Thom Hartman shill for (I mean, Endorse Wholeheartedly Because They've Seen The Results Firsthand.)  If a Trumpist and a Bernie Bro agree, how could they be wrong?


  1. People want health but they don't want to work for it. That's why we'll never be free of stuff like this.

    1. "Scientists say that the key to weight loss is a balanced diet and regular exercise. In other words, we are no closer to a treatment for obesity."-- Jimmy Fallon