Sunday, May 22, 2022

Bell and Howell does it again!*


I appreciate the fact that Bell and Howell doesn't use the words "magic" or "miracle" to describe their little Bug Zapper which Doesn't Zap Bugs device, but I'm still left a bit confused about what I am seeing here.

First, why are these houses so infested with bugs in the first place? They look clean- I don't see overflowing garbage pails or dirty plates sitting around.  What is attracting all these bugs?  Are these houses next to landfills?  

Second, what kills the bugs?  I mean, how do I know that those bugs aren't going to just fly out the moment I open the machine up to "clean" it?  This isn't actually a bug zapper.  The light just attracts the bugs.  It basically just invites the bugs to hang out together in one place instead of bugging you.  How is it "Silent Bug Deadly" (I didn't make that awful pun; the commercial did.)  As far as I know, bugs don't just die of claustrophobia if you trap them in one place.  Sure they'll starve to death eventually, but after how long?  One commenter on a video reviewing this product suggested that the user should tape some fly paper to the bottom- that makes sense, but it also reinforces my idea that this thing just gets bugs out of the way.  It's not "deadly," unless the bugs die of boredom or something.

Third, I'm always suspicious when any As Seen on TV product is described as "whisper quiet."  I'm pretty sure it always means "gives off an audible hum you'll get used to, so get over it you stupid baby." Or maybe "Senior Citizens, who despite what you see in this ad are our target audience, can't hear anything so they won't hear this."  

Fourth, I'm also suspicious that we aren't told how much energy this thing uses.  It's a light AND a fan.  I'm sure it doesn't cripple the electrical grid like those "Dutch" "Fireplaces" do, but if it actually creates a powerful vacuum, I suspect the impact on the bill isn't Nothing. 

*that voice actor sure gets a lot of gigs, doesn't he?  Is there anything he HASN'T tried to sell us?

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