Friday, May 27, 2022

The $5 Taco Bell Breakfast Box is just a really stupid idea


Here's what your five dollars buys you if you hand it to Taco Bell for this box of crap, according to the official Taco Bell website:  A "Grande Toasted Breakfast Burrito" which looks to have ground meat and eggs cooked in grease and wrapped in white bread, hash browns deep-fried in more grease, two "Cinnabon Delights," and "your choice of coffee or a medium fountain drink" (potentially even more calories in the form of sugar and milk.)

So let's see- there's a little protein here, but otherwise pretty much nothing but fat and empty carbohydrates, including sugary ones which are certain to spike your dopamine levels and program your brain to go back for more before lunchtime- hell, you'll be desperate to find a stale doughnut in the breakroom by the time to get to work.  You've given your kidneys a workout (well, at least SOME part of your body got one) and you've accelerated your skin's aging process.  And remember what I just said about dopamine?  Well, guess what- eating those "Cinnabon Delights" condemned you to be crazy-hungry all day long, as well as feeling sluggish and wanting a nap, which just encourages you to reach for more sugar and caffeine just to keep going.  Oh and by the way, unless you plan to run a marathon after work, you're almost certainly going to end the day in a calorie surplus- the box of greasy sugary sludge ranges from 880 to almost 1200 calories depending on how much milk and sugar you take with the coffee, and as I already implied, you've already started out your day by wiring your brain to demand that you keep eating.  

Seems to me that that Poison Breakfast in a Box cost you a lot more than five dollars if it wires your brain to want something similar for lunch and dinner, not to mention the sugary snacks you'll find yourself reaching for because your brain won't turn off the EAT command.  Hard pass on this one.*

*I've still never consumed anything from Taco Bell.  It doesn't look good.  I know it ISN'T good.  So why would I give this place my money?  Why would ANYBODY give this place their money???

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