Friday, November 11, 2022

There is literally nothing to this Verizon ad


Every once in a while, I see a commercial so vapid, so content-free, that I'm convinced it was made to deprive me of an opportunity to snark on it.  This is one of those ads, but I'm going for it anyway.

This ad is not necessary.  We see the phrase "for our loyal customers" posted everywhere all the time but we who live in the real world of consumers know that compared to potential customers, "loyal customers" are the dirt under the shoe of a company intern.  The first idiot actually thinks that he got a deal for his family - free iPhones, which is basically like thanking the dealer down the street for hooking his family up with deep-discount heroin- because he's a long-time customer.  He's stunned to find out that the even blander white family he apparently didn't notice was standing a few feet from his that they, too, got free iPhones even though they are brand new customers (the wife from central casting says they got free phones "even though ours were busted."  Huh- so you already had iPhones, but they were all broken, but you were holding on to them anyway, huh?  This is so plausible.)

The only slightly remarkable thing about this ad is that the family which is surprised by the generosity of Verizon is black, and the "you're nothing special, we got the same deal" family that puts them in their place is white.  These days, I'd expect exactly the opposite.  But that being said, all of these sad, phone-addicted morons should feel free to die in a terrible fire now for wasting my time.

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