Sunday, November 27, 2022

Small Business Saturday: please, tell me why I was supposed to care. Because I just don't get it.


I have yet to hear a coherent argument as to why I should give a tinker's damn about any small business.  In my experience (which is to say, from a careful viewing of thousands of ads like this and a careful listen given to thousands more on the radio) I am now convinced that 99.9 percent of these small businesses are vanity projects launched by people motivated by nothing more than a determination not to admit ever that they are just like the rest of us and need to get a job and stop pretending that they are the next Steve Jobs with their Karen's Kwirky Kupcakes and Koffee or Betty's Bedding or Jack and Diane's Toyz for your Totz or WHATEVER.   I swear, if I hear another "I started my business roasting coffee in my garage" or "I decided to take my passion for creating Walmart-level jewelry to the next level" story I'm going to just lose it. 

But hey, if you want to throw your ego energy into a small business, please, go for it.  Just don't bitch at me that you "can't" provide a decent wage, or health care, to your "employees who are just like family," because it's not all about sticking your name on a sign and waiting for the money to roll in.  And it's not a reason why I should support you.  Neither is "because I'm small and local," because so are tics and cholera, and I don't support them, either.


  1. And when they get bored and say they have second thoughts, their 'family' ask them what their first thoughts were.

    1. Most "small business owners" are just one tiny step above MLMs. Sorry, but having four walls and a sign doesn't make you special.