Sunday, October 22, 2023

Reality check for the Dos Equis "Ukulele Guy"


Poor, poor Ukulele guy.  Didn't you know that there are only a few acceptable forms of activity allowed while sitting in front of a beach or camp fire with "friends?"  Strumming a ukulele is not allowed.  Humming is not allowed.  Here are the things you ARE allowed to do:

1.  Stare at your iPhone and exclaim with delight every few seconds as your bets on FanDuel come through.  Do this as loudly and ostentatiously as possible so that everyone knows that you are winning on FanDuel.  Because being a gambling addict was something to be ashamed of a few years ago, but it's something to celebrate now.  Just ask Kevin Hart, Jamie Foxx or any number of shameless paid shills for the industry. 

2.  Just stare at your iPhone and talk about how awesome and brand new it is and how you got a great deal on it and how everyone else there ought to get one Because Reasons.

3.  Go on and on about how awesome the Beer Everyone Without Exception is Drinking tastes because that's totally something people do in the real world. 

But if you insist on playing the ukulele and humming, expect your "friends" to tell you not to.  And then you can either put away your ukulele or you can tell your "friends" that you didn't ask for permission, don't give a flying f--k if they approve, and that you didn't complain when they squealed about FanDuel or gave obnoxious commercials for their iPhones so they should shove it up the orifices they don't use for breathing.   And those people on the yacht?  Don't even get me started on those people on the yacht.

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