Sunday, December 17, 2023

That Uber Eats "What are you doing" commercial featuring Idris Elba....


Honey, I've got some information that you may not have made yourself aware of:  

1.  You are wife No. 3.

2.  Wife No. 1 lasted for four years.  Wife No. 2 lasted less than a single year.  You may or may not be the first Mrs. Elba to see Year Five as Mrs. Elba.  

3.  Take a look at that house you are currently living in.  Take a look at your husband's net worth.  Remind yourself that you are a model who met Idris in a Moroccan jazz bar in 2017, two years before you became Wife No. 3.  Please hang on to that last part- Number Three.  You are Number Three. 

4.  You are seventeen years younger than your husband.  You won a "Ms. Vancouver"  Beauty Pageant, but that was waaaaay back in 2014.  You know what I'm implying.  

5.  Do the math.  Your husband is doing whatever the hell he wants to do.  I suggest you uncross your arms and remove all calendars from that house as quickly as possible.   Pack that attitude away, too.  There are plenty of single models out there who won't bat an eye at multimillionaire movie stars who want to rid their kitchen of fruit flies.  

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