I didn't think it was possible for a commercial to truly make me long for an early death, but this one comes pretty damn close, especially since it's showing up during every. Freaking. Ad Break. During every. Single. One. Of today's three-game NFL marathon on NFL Network.
Sometimes I wonder why the comments on ads are turned off. Sometimes I don't wonder at all. Guess which time this is? I mean, other than time to gouge my ears out.