Wednesday, April 8, 2009

More Well-Deserved McDonald's Snark

Huge family is gathered around the table at Grandma's house. Grandma comes in with a huge pitcher of iced tea, which is quickly poured into glasses in an act that would put Christ's loaves and fishes to shame: that pitcher of tea fills about half a dozen ENORMOUS glasses.

Everyone tips their glasses at the same time and guzzles the tea down in about three seconds. Seriously, these people must have been PARCHED. They don't even come up for air until the glasses are completely drained.

Everyone praises Grandma on her Awesome Sweet Iced Tea. Dad grabs the pitcher and announces "I'll get some more."

Ok, stop right there, dad. Someone here doesn't know what goes into making iced tea. It's grandma, so we are supposed to assume that the tea was fresh-brewed (maybe it's supposed to be sun tea.) That means there's no barrel of tea in the kitchen waiting to be tapped, you idiot. Real Iced Tea- which the family assumes this to be- takes time and effort. That's the whole point of the commercial.

Grandma snatches the pitcher and orders her son to sit down, she'll get the tea. And then we learn Grandma's secret- the tea she's been filling the pitcher with is from McDonalds- the forbidden kitchen is filled with big cups of McDonald's Sweet Tea- $1 a cup- which she's been pawning off as her own.

Jeesh, give me a break. I've had McDonald's tea. It's not that good (I like unsweetened, myself.) Grandma's not on a fixed income, because she seems more than prepared to spend upwards of twenty bucks on individual cups of tea rather than admit that she doesn't feel like making it herself. And- most absurdly- she's somehow carted all this tea to her house, ice included, and stashed it in her kitchen, JUST to pull off this little scam with her family.

I remember a commercial from maybe 25-30 years ago featuring a guy treating his date to a "home-made meal" consisting of a Swanson's Frozen Dinner- I think it was a veal cutlet and mashed potatoes. The date loved it, then oddly damaged the message by asking "can I have some more?", indicating that the portions were not very substantial. This Sweet Tea Commercial doesn't reach that level of ineptness, but the fact that it reminds me of an ancient commercial for tv dinners means that it's pretty damned awful, not to mention trite and hackneyed. Back to the drawing board, McDonald's.

1 comment:

  1. Never saw that commercial, but your description made me laugh.