Thursday, April 30, 2009

Now I feel old. And disgusted.

What happened?

One day I was in High School, and Jamie Lee Curtis was dropping jaws all over the country by stripping off a supertight top and giving us an unforgettable three seconds of full frontal nudity. What we could never have guessed was hiding under her rather drab, almost Puritan coverings in Halloween and Halloween II was right there for us to enjoy for a brief moment in Trading Places. And later, we get to see her in all her bubbly, bouncy glory wearing short shorts and Pippy Longstocking pigtails- awesome.

I blink, and suddenly there's Jamie Lee Curtis again- but she's not displayed on a massive piece of canvas at the local drive-in (partially because there isn't one.) She's not even entertaining us from the downtown Cineplex-6. She's on my television set, looking thrilled as all get-out at the opportunity to tell middle-aged women about Activa, The Yogurt That Keeps You Regular.

It hits me. Hard. Jamie Lee Curtis is a Middle-Aged Woman, fit only for commercials in which she delights other middle-aged women with the News that Great-Tasting Activa can help ensure Regular Bowel Movements through some added chemical or something....ugh. Former Sex Symbol Jamie Lee Curtis, pitching yogurt. And seemingly very happy about it.

It seems almost inevitable that one day I'll see Phoebe Cates trying to sell me FiberCon and Jennifer Jason Leigh pitching for ExLax. Because it's suddenly become the mission of the advertising industry to Make Me Feel Old. Very, Very Old.

And if I feel old now, how do you think Jamie Lee Curtis will feel when she gets replaced as Activa's spokeswoman by Catherine Zeta-Jones in a year or two?


  1. Somehow it seems there was a unique, much more carefree, to-hell-with-it attitude that we as the new generation have lost from the 20th century. I am glad to see someone who still likes to talk about how it sucked to live then, not just how it was groovy.
    I am linking to you on my blog (
    I raise my martini of bitterness to you good sir.

  2. It's more about seeing the sex symbols of your youth move gracelessly into middle age, and realizing that you must inevitably follow. It's sad, but it's also Life. What are you going to do?

  3. 1 -- Jamie Lee Curtis still looks good. I envy Chris Guest.

    2 -- There's something creepy about listening to a woman you fantasized about as a teenager extolling the virtues of being able to take craps on schedule. I don't need to know about that -- it ruins the memory.