"Do you have more than $10,000 in Credit Card Debt? Wouldn't you like to get out from under the stress of the outrageous payments? Well, now you can get the fresh start that you deserve!"
Yay! But wait...I don't have $10,000 in Credit Card Debt-- yet, I consider the payments I'm expected to make on purchases I've made in the past "outrageous," so can this company, "Debt Free Stimulus," help me out?
Turns out that the answer is "no"- "You must have AT LEAST $10,000 in Credit Card debt to qualify."
No problem, I say. I'm heading out to Sears to buy clothes and sneakers and big-screen tvs I don't need and can't afford. That will put me over the minimum needed to qualify for what Debt-Free Stimulus calls a "Bailout" ("The Government is bailing out the banks, now it's your turn!") It sounds so official! I've been hearing about all this bailout stuff, it was only a matter of time before I was offered my own, personal bailout, right? Right?
But wait, there's a caveat- "if you are now working, and can afford to make monthly payments, you may qualify for one of our Debt-Free Stimulus Programs...." Darn it, always a catch!! If I was working, and could afford to make monthly payments, I wouldn't NEED a bailout!! I would just send those monthly payments to my CREDITORS! And I wouldn't jack my debt up to above $10,000 before doing it!
Here's the bottom line with Debt-Free Stimulus: They don't want your business unless you are 1) Desperate, and 2) Have a Bank Account available to be drained. . If you owe, say, $5000 to American Express and just don't WANT to pay the $50 minimum monthly because gosh, that's annoying, Debt-Free Stimulus is not for you. If you don't have a job that allows you to put money into a drainable bank account, you aren't an attractive candidate for Debt-Free Stimulus's "services," either. When the spokesperson says "the fresh start that you deserve," she's not referring to YOU, specifically. And there's the door.
One final complaint- "Debt-Free Stimulus?" "The Government is bailing out the banks, now it's your turn?" I call False Advertising here- sounds for all the world like this is a Government-sponsored program passed by Congress. And there's another program called "Tax Debt Bailout" ("get out from under your tax debt!") just in case "Debt-Free Stimulus" is too complicated for some listeners. I'd bet anything that they are the same company. Scumbags.