Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If It's Sunday, Hyundai is treating us like gullible sheep again

"Most car commercials tell you what to think..."

Yes, and you stunningly dishonest honey-fuglers* at Hyundai are no different, except in your absolutely complete disregard for the most basic rules of advertising and customer relations. Since you clearly missed the cut when you attempted to register for DECENCY 101, let me give you a very brief primer on the subject:

1. It's perfectly ok to exaggerate when attempting to sell a product. Go ahead and hire an actor to portray Christopher Columbus declaring with a straight face (and in perfect English) that the Hyundai Sonata is the greatest discovery in the history of mankind.

2. It's perfectly ok to attempt to convince the audience that your product is The Answer to All Questions. Go ahead and show us people pushing buttons to get directions, adjust the mirrors, and adjust the seat temperatures. Go ahead and show the same people using voice commands to do things I've always somehow managed to do with my hands- change CDs, adjust volume, you know, really really hard stuff like that.

3. It's perfectly ok to pretend that your product is already so insanely popular that if the audience doesn't leave the house to head out to the nearest dealer before the ad is over, it's probably too late to get in on this Super. Awesome. Amazing. Deal. Go ahead and show people knocking each other over to get at one of your crappy, Looks-Like-Every-Other-Car-On-The-Road automobiles.

4. It's generally ok to treat us like idiots who will believe almost anything. However...

It is NOT OK to brazenly LIE in your ads, which is what you are doing right here. I've posted on this before, but like the horrid "Punch Dub Days" and Smirnoff's "Let's Get Drunk and Do Stupid, Dangerous Things" commercials, this campaign deserves multiple snarks. "Hyundai Uncensored" is nothing of the sort. And here's how I, or anyone with half a brain, managed to figure this out:

A. If these ads were "Uncensored," we'd be watching 20 minute test drives, and seeing every moment and hearing every comment made DURING those test drives. Including SOME negative comments about the cars being driven; even ONE would be more believable than the current total of NONE.

B. If these ads were "Uncensored," we wouldn't see two completely different people make the same lame-ass, cringe-worthy "Hyundai-Sunday" pun. I mean, that's just breathtakingly obvious, isn't it? What, did the dealer subliminally plant that into the mind of the driver just before handing over the keys? Or are we REALLY supposed to believe that two drivers 1) noticed that it was Sunday, 2) Noticed that Sunday rhymes with Hyundai, and 3) thought that this was worth mentioning to the person next to them?

C. If these people were actually being captured with a hidden camera, Hyundai opened itself up to a breach of privacy lawsuit in the hopes of capturing some "honest" reviews of their cars from test drivers. Yeah, Right. Obviously, the "hidden cameras" were not hidden at all, the drivers were handed scripts, and the five seconds of dialogue required were dutifully bleated by the "real people" to be used for these stupid commercials.

Seriously, Hyundai, cut the crap. This is insulting and deceptive beyond the usual ad fare. I can't believe you are fooling anyone with this blatantly fake nonsense. You could at LEAST throw in ONE person saying something like "I'm gonna go back and check out that Jetta before I make a decision" or "Christ this thing handles like a freaking tank, someone's gotta tell Hyundai about this new invention called 'power steering!'" That would demonstrate an EFFORT at least.

*Honey-Fugler: One who cheats or deceives, often through use of flattery or sweet-talk. I'm not sure it quite fits here, but it was good enough for President Taft, and therefore it's good enough for me.

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