Monday, August 7, 2017

I'm surprised she didn't instinctively bring him a beer on the way from the bathroom

1.  It's pretty clear from the tone of this woman's voice that this guy has bugged his significant other many, many times in the past with this "you gotta see this" nonsense.  Yet she feels compelled to get out of the bathtub and walk into the living room still wet and wrapped only in a towel rather than make him wait until she finishes her bath and gets dressed.  Good Trophy Wife!  Good Girl!

2.  Turns out that what she's "gotta see" this time is that the son she managed to birth- fulfilling her contract with the jackass bag of money with legs she married- is capable of bleating "go Irish," which I guess is supposed to be impressive despite the fact that the kid is at least four years old and should probably be getting some testing done if he CAN'T say "go Irish."

3.  Trophy Wife/Mom, wondering why the bank account she sold herself to isn't capable of taking care of their son for more than ten minutes without interrupting her while she takes a bath, murmurs something that sounds like "Ok, great, I'm going to go back to doing what I'm doing" but which probably more accurately translates to "thanks for reminding me again what I sold myself for.  I have to go look at that wedding ring again, and maybe check out the Lexus in the driveway, before I succumb to complete despair."

Next time, lock the bathroom door, Trophy Wife.  Or just keep on keeping on, because no matter how obnoxious that man-child you chained yourself to in exchange for a house and financial security is, it's still better than navigating the big scary world all by yourself, right?  Right?

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